Seeing a Poem in Everything These Days

So I'm still waiting for a critique on my haiku. Three days. The contest closes May 31st, so several weeks remain for someone to take pity on me and offer up some feedback. I wonder what will happen if my haiku go the rest of the month without being critiqued. All it says in the rules is the entry must be submitted publicly for the duration of the contest. It doesn't say the submission must receive critiques. Honestly, though, I really don't know why of the 25 different entries, mine is the only one without any critique or comment.

The snarky side of me is saying, they're just that good! What could possibly be said about them to make them better than they already are? The paranoid critic side of me is saying, they're so bad no one wants to be the first one to say so. This has been the back and forth in my head for the last three days, and this exchange has been particularly bad today.

I finally copied off the haiku and gave them to a poet friend to read and give me some feedback. He read them, offered some suggestions, and let me know which one was his favorite (also my favorite of the bunch). After he and I talked about them, I went into my submission, made the tweaks he suggested, and upon hitting the submit edit button decided I'm done with that contest. If I receive critiques or comments at this point, I don't care.

Angel Baby would tell me I'm a bit salty right now over this. I guess I am since I played along and offered critiques to others who have entered the contest. That's how it's supposed to work -- give a critique, get a critique. I've noticed, though, that this site like many other areas in our lives, is more a popularity contest at times than truly offering up help. Reputation points are gained for being active both by critiquing work of others and engaging in the forums. I'm not in the forums much, just every now and then if the topic is particularly interesting or funny. I have my opinion of those who hang out in the forums, and that's all I'll say about that.

I did enjoy writing the haiku. I like the challenge of syllable count, imagery, and juxtaposition. Coming up with that shift to create two meanings within a short span can be quite frustrating. Making it happen, though, is very satisfying.

This isn't one I submitted to the contest. The windows over my desk are open wide, a breeze lightly tossing the curtains about, so this is where my mind went:

Afternoon spring breeze
romancing lacy curtains 
sleeping dust motes stir*

I've found no matter what I might be doing, whether I'm walking the trail with Ado, cycling out to work, cooking, or sitting on the back deck watching the birds at the feeder, my mind turns to creating a poem in my head.

*After I posted this, I was fixing dinner and like usual, an idea hit me. I hurriedly jotted down the change so as not to forget it. Just two words make a big difference, I think. I like the new third line over "winter dust motes float" because of the sensuality surrounding "romancing," "sleeping," and "stir."

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