Another Semester Nearly Done
Just two weeks left for the semester. I'm kind of feeling I didn't give this semester the best of me, but the students seem to be okay. I'm not sure I ever really left sabbatical mind to return to teaching mind. I went through the motions of teaching but only enough to fulfill the very basic requirements. My thoughts were constantly on my own writing, and new ideas kept pestering me. I couldn't ignore them.
Recently I received three rejections in one week. That was definitely a downer. Especially when I see all the So-and-So's poem will be published in What's-It-Called review every time I log into the site where I post my work for critique. Seems like everyone else is getting published. I can't help but wonder why I'm not. I was really tempted to just call it quits after the third rejection. I wallowed in my misery for a good day or so. Then I decided if I'm really serious about this whole publishing thing, I have to keep trudging on. It's really no different than cycling across the country. Some days I wanted to toss the bike into a ravine and head home, but then I remembered why I was cycling in the first place, and I took a deep breath, clipped in, and pushed on. I will push on with the writing and the publishing; it's all I've ever truly wanted to do my entire life.
The kids and I are in our last month in this space. The past year living with the three has been absolutely wonderful. I've settled into the idea of moving to the smaller unit, and I'm still considering going carfree. I've been using the public transit system all semester, and now that the weather is warmer, I've been walking and using my bike. The only kink in the chain is Angel Baby needing a way to get to work. He could use public transit, too, and a bike, so maybe he'll manage just fine.
Speaking of Angel Baby, he has returned from hiking the PCT. One of the young men who went with him became quite ill and ended up hospitalized. Angel Baby and the third young man continued on without him, but after two days, the third young man decided he, too, would be tapping out. From what I understand, he and the young man who became very ill are incredibly close. He didn't feel it was right to continue on without his friend. I asked Angel Baby not to hike the trail alone, so he ended up returning home, too.
I've never seen him so lost. He was really enjoying the hike. I think he found that something, that challenge, to give him purpose. Then it all came to a very quick end. The past three days he's been wandering around the house, trying to find something to fill his days. We've talked several times, and I know exactly how he's feeling. I've felt it each time after returning from a long ride. The desire to be out, away from all the garbage that is our society, settles deep and is very difficult to ignore. I've suggested he and I do some hiking and camping this summer. While I know he'd much rather do both with his friends, he didn't say no to me.
This week the birds have been entertaining me. At one point, ten goldfinches were feeding. Two pairs of grosbeak have been visiting, which got me all excited as I've not had grosbeak for several years.
A female rose-breasted grosbeak.
Recently I received three rejections in one week. That was definitely a downer. Especially when I see all the So-and-So's poem will be published in What's-It-Called review every time I log into the site where I post my work for critique. Seems like everyone else is getting published. I can't help but wonder why I'm not. I was really tempted to just call it quits after the third rejection. I wallowed in my misery for a good day or so. Then I decided if I'm really serious about this whole publishing thing, I have to keep trudging on. It's really no different than cycling across the country. Some days I wanted to toss the bike into a ravine and head home, but then I remembered why I was cycling in the first place, and I took a deep breath, clipped in, and pushed on. I will push on with the writing and the publishing; it's all I've ever truly wanted to do my entire life.
The kids and I are in our last month in this space. The past year living with the three has been absolutely wonderful. I've settled into the idea of moving to the smaller unit, and I'm still considering going carfree. I've been using the public transit system all semester, and now that the weather is warmer, I've been walking and using my bike. The only kink in the chain is Angel Baby needing a way to get to work. He could use public transit, too, and a bike, so maybe he'll manage just fine.
Speaking of Angel Baby, he has returned from hiking the PCT. One of the young men who went with him became quite ill and ended up hospitalized. Angel Baby and the third young man continued on without him, but after two days, the third young man decided he, too, would be tapping out. From what I understand, he and the young man who became very ill are incredibly close. He didn't feel it was right to continue on without his friend. I asked Angel Baby not to hike the trail alone, so he ended up returning home, too.
I've never seen him so lost. He was really enjoying the hike. I think he found that something, that challenge, to give him purpose. Then it all came to a very quick end. The past three days he's been wandering around the house, trying to find something to fill his days. We've talked several times, and I know exactly how he's feeling. I've felt it each time after returning from a long ride. The desire to be out, away from all the garbage that is our society, settles deep and is very difficult to ignore. I've suggested he and I do some hiking and camping this summer. While I know he'd much rather do both with his friends, he didn't say no to me.
This week the birds have been entertaining me. At one point, ten goldfinches were feeding. Two pairs of grosbeak have been visiting, which got me all excited as I've not had grosbeak for several years.
A female rose-breasted grosbeak.
Male rose-breasted grosbeak.
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