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Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Feeling Conflicted

The last week of March is upon us. Already. Whew. Someone slow this train down. Please. The days are just zipping by too quickly. On the other hand, being this far into the semester puts me closer to the end of it, which is a mere 6 weeks away. I feel like I'm saying, "Slow down! Yay, speed up! Slow down! Yay, speed up!" first looking to my right then looking to my left. I really need to just breathe.

While I may seem conflicted over this whole not liking how quickly time is passing by/wanting time to pass by more quickly, if I had to honestly choose which side I actually fall on, I'd have to say wanting time to pass by more quickly. My mind is already way in out in front of me, in June, where I'm on my bike out in the countryside. Thinking back to last summer, I remember how I rode every now and then, but mostly just hung out around the house, piddling with my projects in my new shop and my garden. I was very content playing with my welder and swinging in my hammock in the loft. But now I feel the need to get back out and ride, seeing how much I can push myself again.

My desire to get out is definitely fueled by the music I listen to. When I rode for BTUSFMS in 2012, Lovely Beautiful Daughter put all her music on an mp3 player and sent it to me. I clearly remember the day I received it. We had arrived in Haswell, CO after a long day cycling. I opened the box addressed to me. Inside was the mp3 player and three cards, one from each of my kids. They each had taken the time to write me something. Reading their notes filled me with such joy that day. I read them several times before putting them away in my cubby in the van. Then I went to stretch out on one of the picnic tables, put the earbuds in, and listened to the music on the mp3 player. As I drifted into that kind of foggy state of dozing, a song played that became a part of who I am to even this day. I remember hearing, "What can I do? The river's overun./We're swimming in a flood, you know?/I thought I felt your touch/But the water's rising up." I never tire of this song by Passion Pit. If anything, hearing it puts me right back in that moment on the picnic table and every day after, as I rode my bike and listened to the music on that mp3 player. That song (and so many others on that mp3 player) is a prod to get back out and pick up where I left off in San Francisco.

I might not be as nervous about riding for BTUSFMS this go round, but I'm every bit as excited, hence my wish for time to speed up, so I can get out there and explore right here in my own backyard.


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