Standing at the Trailhead of Winter

In March of this year, Funny Delightful Son signed up for track, wanting to have something to do that included some exercise as well as being with his friends. He's never been a runner, so he went for the field events: shot put and discus. At the time, he was weighing in at around 225 pounds, which helps when throwing shot put and discus. However, Funny Delightful Son was unhappy with his weight and had been unhappy with his weight for several years. As a fourth grader, he stood a head taller than his classmates, and he outweighed them by quite a bit. Where his classmates were the typical thin pre-teen boys, he wasn't, and he got teased by it. The teasing spurred him to constantly round his shoulders as if he was trying to minimize how much space he took up. He started to wear t-shirts beneath button-down shirts or sweatshirts to hide his shape. I regularly encouraged him to stand tall, put his shoulders back, but he seemed only to sink further into himself. I hated seeing this...

There's just something truly satisfying about working with wool roving and soap. I think it's the patience factor--wrapping the soap takes patience, allowing the wool to dry takes patience, and creating the decorative image takes patience. Being forced to slow down, to not rush through the process is akin to how to live a full life: slowly, savoring it, examining it carefully along the way. As I was working on the three pieces of felted soap this morning, my thoughts turned to my mom. Today marks two years since her death. I think about Mom nearly every day, but my thoughts have been full of her since November, the anniversary for her collapse and subsequent health decline. I didn't fully realize how sad I was feeling during the last few weeks until a friend messaged me via FB, saying she was thinking about me and hoping I was doing okay. The tears came so easily when I read her note, and I finally let them have free rein. Giving in to the sadness felt good, cleansing. ...

Want to feel like a kid? Get a bar of soap and some wool roving and you're on your way. I'd never heard of felted soap until a student wrote about conducting a 4-H workshop on how to felt soap. I had no idea what she was talking about, so I turned to the internet to find out. After reading a couple of how-to's and examining some pictures, I knew this was an activity I really wanted to take part in. Being the anti-washcloth, anti-sponge person that I am, felted soap is exactly what I've been pining away for most of my life. Why it took me so long to learn of this amazing product is a mystery. Once I decide to do something, nothing will stop me following through. I knew I had a couple soap bars languishing on the closet shelf, so that part was easy. After reading many of the how-to's, though, I knew I had no wool roving. Some of the articles suggested using wool yarn. I don't even have that around. Some suggested using an old wool sweater. I don't own a wo...

The end of the semester brought snow our way, nearly six inches. The boys were unhappy the snow began falling Friday evening and continued overnight, into Saturday. They'd like to see a snow day happen soon. I'm happy to see it. Puts me in the holiday spirit and gives me an excuse to stay inside to work on projects for the house. Like infused salts. And a sugar scrub. Sugar scrub, dried thyme, infused salts I have lots of herbs from my garden, so I did some research and found making infused salts is actually quite easy. Why go buy a jar when I can do it myself? I went the route of citrus infused salt and rosemary infused salt. My plan is to combine some rosemary and thyme for another batch sometime this week. I'm out of the little jars with cork stoppers, so I'll have to get a few more of those, maybe see if the thrift store has any on its shelves. The jelly jar is my sugar scrub. I'm looking forward to using it in the shower today. I read lots of articles...

Every day, when I sit down to have breakfast, I do two things: turn on the weather channel to see what's going on outside even though I can look out the picture window of the dining room and see exactly what's going on, and read the daily quote offered from the Dalai Lama to start my day on a positive note. Many times, after I've read the daily quote, I think about what I read throughout the day and even days later. Yesterday's quote was one that resonated with me, and I'm finding one idea from the quote is randomly popping into my thoughts: letting go of attachments. Last week, during final conferences with students, I was realizing how attached I am to what I believe is A writing, B writing, C writing, etc. While I don't want to simply pass a student for being a warm body that has attended class all semester, I do want to let go of the attachments I have to the criteria I've always used to assign final grades. Every time I go into a student paper, the cr...

The older I get the more precious time becomes. Every single minute holds a value far beyond what I can wrap my brain around. When I see the "100 Places You Should Visit Before You Die" and realize I've only visited 14, I feel the urge to pack my bags and get going, or I'll miss out. At the same time, I just want to sit on the back deck steps and watch the sparrows flying in to the bird feeder. I'm completely in love with the idea of slowing down, just standing still, and taking in all that is right here around me. This back and forth pull gets tiresome. I am, however, noticing I'm leaning far more in the direction of slowing down, and I'm finding I'm truly very happy right where I am. And now December is upon us, a month of hustle, bustle, and generally overdoing everything. Several years ago, I decided I didn't want to be a part of the holiday madness any longer. No big decorating (much to Lovely Beautiful Daughter's dismay, though I'll...

For the past two years, I've been helping put into place a regional English teacher conference hosted by the writing program at my college. I was in charge of, well, a lot. For the past month, I've not slept well as my mind was constantly going over every little detail. This week, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, I barely slept at all with the conference finally being here and having to make sure all went smoothly. By 11 pm last night, after my two boys arrived home from their Homecoming dance, I put my head down on my pillow and let out a deep breath. I think I was out within seconds. For the first night in a long time, I slept. Then I slept more today. Around 4 this afternoon, I started feeling more rested, far more rested than I have in quite some time. The conference went well, with just a few minor hiccups along the way, nothing that couldn't be resolved quickly and fairly easily. Two young men from my college's IT department acted as our on-site tech help, and t...

Homemade Apple Butter I'm supposed to be reading/responding to student papers, but instead, I'm doing all kinds of other things. Like making apple butter. And cutting out the raspberry vines. And researching having backyard chickens in town. I was hoping to have all the papers responded to by late this evening, but at this point, I'll be lucky to have one section of the four completed. With each semester, I'm finding it harder and harder to make myself sit for any length of time to read student work. I had every intention of getting up early this morning to get started on the papers. I did get up at a reasonable hour. It was before 8 am, and for a Sunday, that's early for me. I fixed myself an egg white omelet along with some bacon and coffee, and read a new book while I ate. I figured I'd start in on the work after I finished breakfast. Instead, all I kept thinking about was the apple trees laden with lovely red apples we'd come across on a piece of p...

Seems like I haven't written in quite some time. That's not to say I haven't thought about writing a blog post. I have. Nearly every day. But I just couldn't bring myself to sit down and write. I sound like so many of my students. So, taking the advice I always give to students who lament not knowing how to start a paper, I'm just going to write. The post will be a hodge-podge, so if you stopped by for something eloquent and insightful, you might be disappointed. Or not. Back into the swing of things at work, and this semester I'm trying something new. For years, I followed what could be considered a fairly typical approach to teaching: creating a calendar with exercises and longer assignments listed, their due dates, and all students doing these exercises and assignments. If a student didn't do the exercise or assignment for a given due date, he/she couldn't make it up. The points were just lost. This semester, I still have a calendar with exercises l...

My first welding project. I've dubbed it "Flower Pedal" and it is soon to be on it's way to the art show. Hubby and I will drive down in just a bit to drop it off. I'm nervous. Will it stack up against the other artwork? Will someone like it enough to buy it? I'm determined to just go with the flow and whatever happens happens. For my first piece, it's not all bad. I learned a lot. I became really comfortable with handling the welding rod, and I overcame my fear of the sparks flying. Lots of positives came from creating this piece.

I know I've written several times this summer about what a wonderful summer I've been having, and with today being the last day of no worries, sitting on the deck in the early morning sunshine, reading, picking tomatoes from my garden, and generally just doing whatever strikes my fancy, I'm still enjoying all things that are summer. The weather couldn't be more perfect--low 70's with a slight breeze. The zinnias around the deck--magenta, orange, yellow, and pink--add so much color. In fact, our entire yard is so colorful that people stopping at our yard sale the last two days commented on how pretty everything is. A friend recently told me she loves how I've surrounded my family in beauty, and as I sit here watching the goldfinches feast on the sunflowers, these little things definitely add beauty to enjoy every moment of every day. Along with all the gardening this summer, we've done a lot of cleaning and throwing away. Too much throwing away. I started i...

Monday evenings is put trash on the curb evenings in our city. And because I'm a fan of treasure hunting, I either walk the streets (sounds racy, doesn't it), ride my bike, or have Hubby drive me around to see what treasures await me finding them and bringing them home. This week, Hubby and I went out, going to an older neighborhood to drive the streets. Unfortunately, we came up with zip. We returned home, and I started out for what I was hoping to be a six mile walk. Less than a mile in, I spied a pile of junk on a side street, so I veered that way to inspect. As I approached, I saw what I knew was the top step of a ladder. A wooden ladder. I'd been searching for a wooden ladder for months, wanting one to put in the garden for the pole beans (which turned out to be bush beans) to climb. The ladders I found in antique stores were marked well over $100, and I wasn't about to pay that. Online, the ladders went anywhere from $50 up to $200. Me being the cheapskate that I ...

For the last month I've been asking Mother Nature to grace us with a beautiful day for our garden harvest party evening. That day came yesterday, and we couldn't have had a more lovely evening to sit outside and visit with friends. I was so thankful for the sunshine and even more thankful for the cool temps. Though I was happy Mother Nature spread her arms wide and did her magic, I was somewhat sad that so many of my friends and family didn't join us. And as we sat there, eating and talking, I listened to several say, "I can't stay long. I have to do _____________." Unfortunately, the ripple effect took place and as soon as one person left, others followed suit. It was almost a fast-food event. What happened to slowing down, truly slowing down and enjoying just being? Why is there a need to overlap activities, making it impossible to relax and give one's full attention to just the one event? I did enjoy all the work leading up to the garden harvest par...

Some days, like today, as I'm talking with one of my kids, a faint sadness begins to gnaw at me. Lovely Beautiful Daughter is venturing into new territory, living on her own and taking care of herself by working three jobs. She hopes to continue with her education at the university this fall. The obstacle in the way is money. Me being a single mom for several years combined with not receiving any financial help from the kids' dad made it nearly impossible to save any money for the kids' higher education. I know I could have not spent money on some things, like my bikes, my workshop, and my gardens, and I probably should have put off investing in these things. Hence my sadness. I feel like I've let my kids down. And I don't know how to help them make sure they get the education they will need in today's world. This same sadness worked at me Sunday morning as Funny Delightful Son and I walked around a local pond, carrying our fishing poles, and hoping to find th...

This morning I opened my email to find the following: "We are happy to inform you that your application has been accepted, and we're looking forward to displaying your work as part of the show." Does this mean I can call myself an artist?

I'm already feeling anxiety of summer coming to an end and having to return to work in two weeks. I guess this means I've had a wonderful summer. I don't want my days with nothing scheduled as "Have to Do" to end. Putzing around in my gardens, making cucumber relish, playing with my new welder, saying, "Nahhh, I don't want to do the laundry right now" and instead settling into my hammock to read have become the way of life for me the last two months. Letting go of this is going to be incredibly difficult. My heart is already weeping over the realization of an ending approaching. On a happier note, I fashioned my first welded sculpture. The weld isn't spectacular, but it is solid. Overall, I'm very happy with the finished product. When I let up on the welding torch trigger and realized the flowers were actually going to stay in place, I wanted to pump my fist in the air and do a happy dance. Instead, I filled out an Artist Application to hav...

 I went to Hubby in early June and said, "I'd like a space to call my own. A workshop type of place." I pointed to the area behind the garage, saying we could clean everything out and build a barn for me. He immediately sat down with a sheet of paper and a pencil, and drew out the kind of roof I wanted. Then he measured the space to see just how big I could go. We ended up deciding my workshop could be 9 x 16. From there, we started in. After two weeks of hard work, sometimes 12 hour days, we ended up with exactly what I'd pictured in my head. I now have my red barn in which to create all the ideas that pop into my brain. My sister gave me the leaded window above the doors, and the door windows came from a salvage company here in town. I love being in my new space, but I love Hubby even more for taking my idea and turning it into reality. One of the projects I started once I could move my stuff into the new workshop is painting all my curbside chairs that will be...

After much thought, I have decided not to ride the Indiana/Illinois segment of Bike the US for MS Northern Tier this summer. I'm a true believer in listening to that inner voice that speaks up at times, saying something just isn't right, and every time I thought about leaving for the Indiana/Illinois segment, that voice spoke up, making me feel doing the ride wasn't the right thing to do this summer. For a long time, I tried to ignore the voice, but the closer the time for leaving approached, the louder the voice became. I finally sat down last week and really examined exactly what I was feeling and why. Truth be told, I'm loving being home. I'm loving working on my gardens and my creative pursuits. I'm loving taking my youngest to marching band practice then listening to him regale me with all the funny stories afterwards. I'm loving going out on my overnight camping trips, my trekking bike loaded with just the bare essentials for one night away from home. ...

Today marks Hubby's and my 8th anniversary. We've had wonderful times, okay times, and difficult times. These last three days fall into the wonderful times category, as we took off on Friday for a couple of days away, to breathe and just be with one another. Friday, we drove up to Princeton, a small town with lots of antique shops and proximity to the Hennepin canal trail. Because we didn't arrive there until later in the evening, we decided to just get dinner and ride the trail the next day. With our getaway being a celebration of our 8th year of marriage, we decided to hit up the steakhouse, go all out. Unfortunately, our going all out consisted of sitting at a table situated between two larger parties, each with a baby in a booster chair at the end, one just a couple of feet behind me. I was a few bites into my salad when the baby behind me let out an eardrum shattering wail. I wanted to turn and glare at the mother, but I reminded myself that I was in her position at ...

Despite the 22 mph winds yesterday, I pedaled my way to 51 miles. When I started out, the wind was out of the SW, so I headed west, thinking I'd have a nice, somewhat of a wind at my back for the return ride. Sounded good, but the wind didn't cooperate. After 25 miles into what was mostly a headwind, I turned around to find the wind had shifted to be a straight out of the south crosswind. By mile 44, I was toast. But, I managed to get 51 miles logged, and the fatigue felt really, really good, so I reveled in my winning the battle against the wind all evening, as I watched the Blackhawks win in overtime against the Redwings. My plan to get out again today most likely won't happen. The wind is still at it, more so than yesterday it seems. I just can't get excited about cycling into 25 mph winds today. With my self-supported ride nearing, along with the ride with the Northern Tier group through Indiana and Illinois, I'm afraid I won't be physically ready to tackl...

When I signed off back in April, I knew I would be back sooner or later. At the time, I just needed a breather. I turned off a lot of the background noise for the last month and some days, and focused on a few things pulling at me, like gardening and creating. The joy that I've felt completing a few of these projects got me through the end of the semester, to the end of the school year for my boys, and ready for the beginning of summer. Bicycle Birdbath The bicycle wheel birdbath is by far my favorite project to date. During a meeting at work the last week of the semester, I drifted off into JK Land and thought, "I really need a birdbath." Then I started doodling on the pad of paper I always carry with me, thinking about the couple of old wheels hanging on the side of my workbench. I knew I still had the fork from the pawn shop bike, too, so I figured I could combine the wheels and the fork to make my birdbath. As soon as I got home that day, I went to the garage an...

As I sit here, typing while looking out the window above my computer, watching the rain fall, rain we've so badly needed, I think about how I haven't blogged for some time. A tiny part of me feels guilty for not being more regular, but then a larger part of me thinks who the hell cares what I have to say anyway? And that duality is what's been my life for awhile now. Ever since last summer when I arrived home after spending 60 glorious days on my bike, learning how easily I can live with so little. Last summer is still with me in a very big way, so much so that every single day, as I'm sitting in my office, grading student work, or standing in front of the classroom, talking about the day's lesson, last summer's images, smells, sounds, and feelings creep in, interrupt. Not a day goes by that I don't think about last summer. Even now, while I should be responding to the student paper I have pulled up on my computer, my thoughts instead turned to the day we ...

Things are changing around my house. Good changes. Happy changes. Well, mostly happy. Lovely Beautiful Daughter has moved out, and while I'm happy for her because moving into her first apartment makes her happy, I'm also somewhat sad. I already miss her. Her spark, her creativity, and her cheerfulness always made for fun times. Lovely Beautiful Daughter taught me how important it is to play as an adult, so I try every single day to incorporate some kind of play into my schedule, even if it's only an online word game of some sort. She's been so good for my soul her entire life, and I will never be able to express in words what this young woman means to me. And my boys. Both are changing what seems like by the minute. Funny Delightful Son just got his driver's license. Angel Baby is now taller than I am. All I've been thinking about lately is how it won't be long before both of them are off and on their own, too. My babies are no longer babies. Where did t...

Today the sun won out over the chill of the wind, and the temps climbed to 70. As soon as I walked outside this morning, I knew I could not let this day slip by without getting a longer ride in. So I planned to be out by noon, after delivering Hubby to the airport and after starting a new art piece just to see if what I was trying to do would work. It worked. I finished some of the new piece then turned my attention to getting the bike ready as well as myself ready. At noon, I was on the road. Less than a quarter mile down the street, I had the thought of turning back to put a long-sleeved shirt under my jersey. The slight breeze was just enough cool to make me wonder if I would be miserable the entire ride. I decided I would eventually warm up, so I kept going. Around mile 30 I was wiping sweat from my face and very glad I hadn't put on the long sleeves. About a mile into the ride I realized I'd not put on gloves. I guess after riding on the trainer during the colder months,...

Monday Stanley adorned our yard. Today, he is but a memory. RIP Stanley.

Nearly 8 inches of snow gave me the elusive snow day I've been pining for. And the only thing to do on a snow day is build a snow person, so that's what I did. Lovely Beautiful Daughter arrived home from work when I was finishing up and laughed, asking, "Where are the boys? Why aren't they helping?" That's okay. I enjoyed doing it myself.

Here we are, March 24, and the snow is falling, the wind blowing. Nearly all day. This after yesterday with temps near 50, a slight breeze out of the NE, and lots of sun. This after being able to get 33 miles in--33 lovely, wonderful miles. I'm officially over winter. While I love winter and being able to slow down, collect myself, I'm tired of being cold. I actually went to the thermostat today and kicked it up five degrees because I just couldn't get warm. I'm the one in the family who usually runs warm and can't stand anything over 65 degrees. Not so today. Shivering, even wrapped in a cozy sweatshirt, I punched it up to 69 much to the surprise of my family. I didn't hear any complaining happening. Yesterday's ride did put me at the 10% mark for the number of days I'm hoping to cycle this year. My goal is 200 days, and I am now officially at 20 days. Slowly but surely I'm making a dent in the mileage I want to reach as well. My goal of 7000 mi...

A last minute decision made today. I was headed out the door to go to work, during my spring break mind you, when I received a text from Hubby telling me to ride up to the lake and see the house he's been doing some work on. I stopped and said, "That sounds way better than going to work." So I hustled about the house, changing clothes and gathering up my cycling gear, and within 20 minutes I was on the road. Sometimes the work just has to wait.

I've been reading At Home in the Muddy Water: A Guide to Finding Peace within Everyday Chaos by Ezra Bayda, and one part in particular has spoken to me, made me say, "Yeah, I'm that person." Bayda tells about how during a talk, he told the group he was going to ask several audience members to join him in front of everyone and have them sing their hearts out, like they do in the shower and while in their car. Bayda goes on to relate how the tension in the room very evidently went up. He suggests this happens as a result of what people perceive as an "assault on their cherished self-image." When I read that, I went straight back to 6th grade, when I and every other sixth grader had to get up and sing the "Star Spangled Banner." Solo. I sang it with gusto, just like I did so many other things in life as a ten-year-old. When I finished, one of my classmates looked at me and said, "That was simply awful." The rest of the class laughed. Nee...

Tomorrow kicks off MS Awareness Week 2013, so I spent time today fashioning a new bracelet to wear. I made three, took apart those three because I wasn't pleased with them, then finally created one I know I will wear. I combined the MS Society colors along with the initials from Bike the US for MS. The ends are bike chain links, and the Hope charm finishes it off. Of all the bracelets I've made so far, this one is my favorite.

Though much of the snow dumped on us Tuesday has melted off, many areas on the trail are still covered by a deep layer. At times, I had to hop off Old Faithful and walk. Once or twice I wished the city would see to it that the trail was cleared with the same zeal that is taken to make sure all of the city streets are cleared when it snows. I tried an alternate route on the way home, taking the sidewalk along Main Street, but it was just as tough to manage as the trail. Apparently pedestrians and cyclists aren't a concern here. That's sad.

Part I: Self-Supported Ride to Meet Up with BTUSFMS Northern Tier Group             Create Maps or search from 80 million at MapMyRide         

Traffic Skills 101 online course--done! Now I need to do the hands-on portion, but from what I'm finding, this may not happen any time soon. Interestingly enough, there is no League Certified Instructor (LCI) in the Twin Cities. Additionally, there are no classes scheduled within the next 60 days for anywhere near me. Thankfully, I was able to find the name and email address for an LCI who lives in Urbana. I sent her an email, asking if she would be agreeable to setting up a day/time for the hands-on portion. Hopefully she'll respond quickly, saying, "Why yes, I'd love to be your instructor." Once I get this part of the class finished, I can then sign up for the LCI seminar. The wheels, they are a'turnin'. At one point while taking the second quiz of the online course, I sat back and complained, "This question is asking about something that wasn't even covered in the chapter." I selected the answer that made the most sense to me, but I sele...

I began step #2 of Plan B. Step #1 was to begin learning basic mechanics/bicycle repair. I've had two classes so far and need to schedule the third. Since the weather has been so cold, the garage has been frigid to the point of being uncomfortable to work in. I'm hoping The Weather Channel people are right in that we'll see the end of the cold come the end of February. They keep saying March will be above average in temps, so I'm really banking on this. They better be right. I need to have another session. While I wait, I decided to go ahead and take step #2: becoming a League Certified Instructor (League of American Bicyclists). Before I can attend an instructor seminar, I have to take the online Traffic Skills 101 course, so that's what I'm doing. Chapter 1 covered the different parts of the bike, basic bike fit information, and equipment. I read through it, well, I skimmed a lot of it, then took the 6 question quiz at the end. I'll be honest--I was a bi...

I have a date for my birthday, March 5th. The film showing is to raise money for a bike give-away initiative, and I was asked to speak about my experience cycling across the US. Can't think of a better way to spend my evening.

How about that Notre Dame/Louiseville game last night?! Five OT's! And Notre Dame walked away the victor. A really fun game to watch. Then there was the Purdue/Michigan State game, which saw my Boilers dig a hole they couldn't get themselves out of. Not fun to watch at all. No cycling for two weeks now. The first day I didn't ride the temp was 2 degrees with a -18 degree wind chill, the wind blowing furiously from the northwest. The next few days the temps remained bitterly cold, so I decided to wait out the weather, hoping for a warm up. Then last week came, and I was called upon for child pick-up duty in the afternoons. With my schedule, driving was the better option. Now, the rain has moved in. Cold, heavy rain, and wind. Not cycling has made me lazy. I haven't done anything remotely physical these last two weeks. I feel like a slug. I'm afraid all the work I put in the last year is going to be undone. I have a trainer I could set up, and I have a dreadmill I...

I've started working on my next essay/article, and I'm so excited. My intent with this one is to explore how the bicycle has allowed women to take control of their own destiny, and I hope to do this through the voices of the women with whom I was privileged to ride beside last summer, as well as articles and books I'm finding as I research. One book I will refer to during my piece is How I Learned to Ride the Bicycle by Frances E. Willard. I'm about a third of the way into this little gem and have marked several passages that speak to what I'm hoping to accomplish within my essay/article. So far, one of my favorite passages in How I Learned to Ride the Bicycle is this: "Gradually, item by item, I learned the location of every screw and spring, spoke and tire, and every beam and bearing that went to make up Gladys (the name she gave to her bike). This was not the lesson of a day, but of many days and weeks, and it had to be learned before we could get on well...