For nearly a year now, I've been finding myself doing anything and everything besides what I need to be doing, namely reading and evaluating student work. Whenever I tell myself to plop my behind down in front of the computer and start in on the submitted exercises/assignments, a feeling akin to nausea rumbles in the pit of my stomach. Its slimy tendrils spread through my body, turning my limbs to jelly. I'll make it as far as the office door and can see my computer, but my feet refuse to take another step. Only when I turn and walk away, maybe washing the dishes or putting in a load of laundry or going outside to merely sit on the back deck, does the nausea abate. Avoiding what needs to be done has only created a huge pile of work that now seems insurmountable.
A favorite pic from the summer. Maybe a hint?
It's time to face the problem. Instead of dancing around the issue, hoping the desire returns to continue doing what I've been doing for many years, a plan needs to be put into place and action taken. Only I don't know where to start. Fear makes me think a change right now is the wrong way to go. I enjoy a position of stability, an income that covers the family's needs and wants, and other perks many people wish they had. Seems absolutely crazy to let go of all this. So what to do?
See? Even now I'm immersing myself in writing rather than doing what needs to be done. I'm caught in a vicious cycle.