Standing at the Trailhead of Winter

I am so sick of this country's administration. Every day this administration shows just how corrupt it is, yet every day it is allowed to continue. There are people in powerful places who can make it stop, but they're not. Absolutely sickening. I feel such a deep sadness over what is currently happening to our beautiful country. Last year at this time, with it being my birthday this week, I received a text from a sibling wishing me a happy birthday. My reply was thank you. The next text asked if I had retired yet. I said no, and with this clown show of an administration I might not ever be able to because the world was going to implode. After that, crickets. Which told me my sibling voted for this incredibly corrupt administration.  Not long after that text conversation, I received a text from another sibling. It was a GIF of the clown himself dancing, with happy birthday below. My response was fuck that clown. The ensuing texting conversation showed me another sibling buying i...

Today marks the one-year anniversary of my dad's death. I'm sitting here shaking my head. Already a year has passed.  In a conversation with a sibling, it was suggested the family lost three people a year ago. Dad to cancer, and two of our siblings to . . . I don't even know how to word it . . . bad behavior? misguided thinking? selfishness? disconnectedness? all of the above? Here we are now, a year later, and the silence has only deepened, at least between me and the two siblings. I won't speak for my other siblings who have been disappointed by these two. At this point, I keep returning to the "it is what it is" catch-all for difficult situations, and I find other things, pleasant and happy things, to focus on. Like the time Dad set the oven on fire (well, he didn't really do it; the turkey did it) while preparing our Thanksgiving feast. Lovely Beautiful Daughter was around 8 years old and walked into the kitchen, loudly exclaiming, "Papaw! The ove...

I've been told twice now, that because I believe I am entitled to my perspective on things, just as anyone is entitled to his/her/their perspective, I must be a Democrat (I'm pretty sure this was meant to be an insult). I'm still trying to wrap my brain around this logic, if there is even a logic to it. I guess for the person who said this to me there must be a logic, but I'm failing to find it. For the person who said this to me, it's called Theory of Mind. Look it up. Read about it. Learn about it. Everyone has a perspective that is unique to him/her/they. Even you. And I am more than happy to allow you your perspective on things though they are very different from my own. And in the process, I won't stoop to calling you a BITCH (the all caps where how you sent it in the text). I won't sink so low as to say, "Fuck you" like you did in another text. After you've finished learning about Theory of Mind, consider turning to Malcolm Gladwell's...

So, apparently I'm stepping over the boundaries in speaking out about a family member's behavior. Also, apparently I'm not allowed to have a perspective on what my life was like growing up in my family. According to one sibling (who ordered me not to write about them on the blog, and who I'm pretty sure didn't even know my blog existed until I wrote the last post and it was shared by the family member that post is referring to), "I'm still wondering where the rest of us were when things were SO bad for you. We had an awesome and blessed bringing up."  I don't disagree. We did. But this doesn't mean there weren't bad things, too. It wasn't all butterflies and unicorns. To believe otherwise is to live in La-La Land. And, I just want to go on the record now and say I'm pretty sure I've never said through the years writing on my blog that my life growing up was SO bad. I'm still scratching my head over what blog posts my sibling...

Well, the whole "my siblings and I have been getting along great" after Dad passed away has ended. We've all heard the horror stories of siblings who fight over the estate, taking each other to court or whatever, and I was so glad that wasn't the case for us. I was proud of how my siblings and I were in agreement about so many aspects concerning what to do with Dad's things. Little did I realize . . . At this point, speaking for myself (though I've heard from another sibling that this is true for at least one other in the group as well), I've washed my hands of one of my siblings. The one causing the trouble. And I have said as much to this sibling. I will no longer try to get in contact. Not that it would do any good. This sibling won't respond anyways. Like a petulant child. Or maybe a chicken shit. Probably 1/4 petulant child and 3/4 chicken shit. Because this sibling knows their actions are truly shameful.  Backhanded accusations have been thrown t...

The rain has been hanging around the last couple of days, and since I'm not one to ride in the rain, the cycling hasn't been happening. Today, after attending my niece's graduation party and becoming agitated over a petty grievance I have concerning my family, all I kept thinking during the party was I have to get out to clear my head. Thankfully, when we left the party, the clouds and rain had moved east. I couldn't get home and clipped into the pedals fast enough. I have three brothers and two sisters. Being the fifth child of six along with liking being alone, I have never been especially close to any of my siblings. We get along alright, but years ago I realized my siblings just don't seem all that interested in keeping in touch, so I stopped trying to build lines of communication that seemed to go pretty much one way. Today, yet again, after arriving at my niece's party, I found out that most of my siblings were in town. The fact that they didn't feel...