Working on the Self Improvement

The "have-to-go-to" meetings are out of the way. Really, they weren't so bad. I don't mind sitting through a meeting these days. Not too long ago, I would have been singing a different tune. I remember a retreat my dean required all of us to go to, and I wasn't happy at all about having to go. It was a Friday, a day I used to mark on the calendar for grading since we have no classes on Fridays, and the retreat was scheduled at a time during the semester when I had a ton of papers to read/respond to. Yeah, I was in a foul mood when I arrived at the retreat. The person brought in to run the retreat said hello when I walked in and told me to take a name badge. She then said I didn't have to put my name on it. Instead, I could put how I was feeling. So I put "Annoyed." When my dean saw this, she gave me a look of half amusement half disappointment.

My foul mood didn't improve as the morning wore on. If anything, I became even more resentful for having to be at this retreat instead of grading papers when the person running the show had us take an image given the group at the table and describe how what we saw applied to being a teacher. While I don't remember the image exactly, I do remember it fed into my mindset at the time -- angry, resentful, and unwilling to find anything remotely helpful at this retreat. When it was time for the groups to share with the entire gathering, everyone at my table wanted me to offer my thoughts. I did, giving a very dark, not at all encouraging response about how our image applied to being a teacher. The entire room just sort of sank into silence.

The retreat facilitator put a big smile on her face and flounced to the next table, not even addressing what I'd said.

On one hand, I can see how my behavior wasn't conducive to constructive professional growth. On the other hand, teachers, too, experience moments of extreme frustration. Instead of brushing that frustration aside, it should be addressed and possible solutions offered.

Not long after this retreat, I read something about how to deal with being required to go to meetings or events one doesn't see any value in. One thing stood out to me: the person in charge of the meeting or event is most likely responding to what someone above them is asking them to do. This person is basically in the messenger position. If the person works hard to make the meeting or event at least somewhat tolerable, then I should go and enjoy as much as I can. I should engage in a positive way to show respect for that person's time and efforts. While my dean wasn't responding to anyone above her telling her to take the whole division on a retreat, she was making an attempt to bring all of us together for the day so we could get to know each other more and get the insights of colleagues we might not interact with much during a semester. I should have been more mindful of her efforts.

So now I go to the meetings/events with the intention of engaging in a productive way. I leave my phone in my office, so I'm not distracted by it, use it as an escape from what's going on in the meeting. At times, when I get back to my office and look at my phone, I'll find upwards of 15 messages sent during the meeting by others who are at the same meeting.

With the meetings over, now I can fully concentrate on getting my classes in place for the semester. They're almost all the way there. I got a little distracted the last few days with organizing things around the apartment. I'm totally stoked by the shoe rack I put in my closet. Three tiers that hold nine pairs of shoes. I find myself going to my room and opening the closet door just to look at how organized all my shoes are. My t-shirt drawer, too, is a joy to behold. Every t-shirt and sleeveless shirt folded and arranged in such a way that I can see exactly what shirt I'm looking at when I pull the drawer open. Same for my shorts drawer. No more rummaging around in the drawers to find the shirt or pair of shorts I'm hunting for. That, for sure, brings me happiness!

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