Monday, July 2, 2012

Tired, Irritated, and Frustrated

Because of the heat, I've figured out places I can go to stay cool once we've reached our destination. So far, the public library is my favorite place because it is usually quiet, cool, and comfy chairs are available to lounge in. Unfortunately, the public library in today's destination, Tribune, KS, closed at 2. I, along with a gaggle of kids who'd been watching movies in the community room, was kicked out promptly at 2. I slung my two backpacks onto my back, the one holding all my dirty laundry, and headed to the laundromat I was told could be found at the truck stop.

Now the laundry is in and I'm chilling in the cool air of the truck stop. Thankfully wifi is available, so I'm connected and can catch up on what's happening in the world. Or at least my little world of Facebook, Blogger, hotmail, and Bike the US for MS. I've not read or watched any news, so as far as what's going on outside my little world, I have no idea.

The news of my little world hasn't changed all that much. The weather is still hot. The rides are still long. Today I cycled 70 miles, officially putting me over 2000 miles for the ride. Tomorrow, I will cycle 89, taking me out of Kansas and into Colorado. There's been talk of doing 118 miles tomorrow because the campground we are scheduled to stay at is supposed to be "extremely primative," meaning there are no toilets. It'll mean truly being one with nature. At least this is what I was told. I'm not sure of all the particulars, but the thought of cycling 118 miles in 100 degree heat is about as appealing as having a root canal done. I know the heat is out of our control, but putting people's lives at risk in the name of reaching a better campground seems extreme. There have to be alternatives.

Speaking for myself, I'm tired. I'm irritable. I'm frustrated. Being told I have to cycle 30 miles beyond what is scheduled, which is already a long ride, only exacerbates these feelings. To counter these feelings, I've been talking to Mom a lot. The ride is, after all, for her. I knew coming into it there would be moments during which I would be tired, irritable, and frustrated. I know Mom felt these same things so many days while facing the MS. Having a better idea of what she felt helps me deal with the feelings in a more productive way. One thing I did today to combat the frustration was put in the earbuds and listen to music for most of the ride. I've never done this before, but for the sake of my sanity and to get some enjoyment out of the ride today, I opened up the music, settled in, and watched the miles tick away.

Tomorrow will happen no matter what, but for a little while longer today, I can sit here in the cool, drink a cola while playing on the tablet, and wait for my laundry to finish. Just the thought of having clean cycling shorts and jerseys eases some of the frustration, making me less irritable. Now, if I could just find a place to take a nap and ease some of the fatigue.

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