Sunday, March 27, 2011

Finding Our Way Back

I know it's not my day to blog, but I really feel the need to think something through by writing about it.

Two years ago, my son began having a very difficult time at the small Catholic school he was attending. In the end, I took him out of that school with only seven weeks of the school year remaining and put him in the public school. When all of this drama was playing out, one of my son's teachers who I considered a really good friend became very angry with me, offended that I didn't go to her. For the past two years now, she has made it clear she does not want to talk to me, does not want to carry on a friendship with me. Initially, I was very hurt by the loss of this friendship. I truly agonized over it. Because my youngest was still attending the Catholic school and had her as a teacher, and was also friends with her son, we had to interact occasionally. She remained very distant, very cool. I thought maybe after some time had passed, we could let bygones be bygones, but no matter what I said, she remained distant. Maybe about six or seven months ago, I finally made peace with myself over this issue. I had truly tried to mend the relationship. She made it clear she was not ready. Time to move on. I moved on.

Yesterday, I ran across her name online when I was checking the results of a 5k a friend of mine had run. Out of curiosity, I was scanning the names of the runners when all of a sudden I saw her name. Frankly, I was a bit surprised that her name showed up as I wasn't aware she even ran. Her time was awesome, way faster than I am, so I just smiled, thinking it figures. As if running across her name wasn't enough, I then dreamed about her during the night. I don't recall the whole scene or what actually happened in the dream. I knew, though, without a doubt, she and I were going to be okay.

Today we went to church. In the next aisle, a few rows up, she sat with her family. After church, I went to say hello to another friend, and during our conversation, I turned to see my old friend standing beside me. I smiled and said hello. She smiled back. The three of us chatted for several minutes, the talk turning to running, cycling, and swimming. Both of us laughed over finding out that during these past two years, we both had taken up running and cycling. Even funnier is the fact that she's now thinking triathlon and is getting into the swimming. Seems we'd not been all that far apart after all.

Hubby made a comment in the car on the way home, about how cold she's been to me for two years. I could tell from his tone that he wanted to say more, but I didn't let him. None of that matters anymore. Forgiving matters. Friendships matter. Being able to come back together matters.


Natalia said...

Yes, I think friendships go through phases....sometimes people can go for months or years without speaking, and then try and reconnect. If there was anything there in the first place, you have something to build on. However it does take 2 willing parties, and this seems apparent here. Sometimes, those friendships run their course - they have 'served' their purpose and we all move on. Congratulations on having such an open heart and willing spirit. Your friend is very lucky to have you!

J said...

What you did today was a bigger accomplishment than winning any race. Some people go their whole lives never learning to forgive.

JK said...

Thanks, Natalia and J, for such kind words. While I had moved on and made peace with myself about the whole situation, I truly did miss this friendship. Now, since Sunday, it's like all that which was a part of this situation has completely dissipated, and I know that even if she and I don't ever speak again, I'm okay with it.