Picking My Battles

I finally caved and started using the pain meds. I simply couldn't get any relief from the constant pain running along my groin, thigh, and knee. Changing sitting position doesn't help. Standing and walking only aggravates things. Laying down is out of the question. And at night, the pain intensifies, which I learned is a thing. For the last three nights, I've sat here and cried for hours because of the pain. I am exhausted. The pain meds have offered some relief as well as the ability to sleep a little.

Ten days into this situation I'm wondering just how long it's going to take to heal. My doctor said 8-12 weeks. That seems like a really long time, but all I can do is take it day by day. I'm learning I need to pick my battles -- the dishes can pile up in the sink, the floors can be covered in dog hair, the dogs can sit in the fenced yard instead of going for a walk. These things will be taken care of sooner or later, definitely later, and in the meantime life will continue forward.

Another area of life I've backed off on is grading. I just don't have the gumption to offer a lot of response to student work. I'm trying to give some feedback, but it's a far cry from what I've always done. The feedback I offer has always been a point of pride for me. I believe the students deserve more than a hasty comment with the grade, and through the years, students have mentioned how grateful they are that I take the time to give in-depth feedback. Now, though, I'm finding it very difficult to do anything more than a short comment.

Because it's difficult to stand and walk for any length of time, when I let the boys outside, I go out and sit in one of the cedar chairs so I can be with them. I do this three or four times a day. Early mornings have been beautiful. Chilly enough for coat, hat, and gloves, but clear blue skies. The Blue Jays and sparrows are so active. The just-rising sun shines on the highest limbs of the maple trees. When I'm sitting in that cedar chair, for a while I don't think about the pain in my leg.

This evening, I'm going to do my darndest to get some housecleaning done. Even if it's just sweeping the living room, that'll be enough. And maybe that's the point -- the small things are enough.