Life in the Slow Lane

Today is a better day than yesterday. And yesterday was better than the day before it. I guess that's all I can ask for.

Last Thursday evening, I experienced pain like I've never experienced before, even when going through natural childbirth and having a 10 pounds 9 ounces baby. That was difficult. Last Thursday was impossible. No matter what I tried to do, the pain gripped my hip and leg, squeezing like a vice. At one point I wondered if I had broken my hip. What made the whole situation worse was the doctor and the nurse not fully understanding how much pain I was in. Even after being given a pain med, which I was lectured was very easy to become addicted to, the pain didn't ease. Not one bit. If anything, the pain worsened. I was sobbing, truly sobbing, yet the doc and nurse kept insisting it was sciatica. I knew it wasn't. The CT scan proved me right.

Today, the pain is manageable. Ibuprofen and a heating pad across my lower back eases the pain significantly while I sit and try to work. Every hour, I get up and walk around the house or outside just to keep from going completely insane. The boys have been amazing; it's like they know I need to take it easy right now. They lay next to my recliner or on the couch, never very far away. At times, Sunny will climb up onto my lap and stretch out on the leg that hurts so much. His weight and warmth chase the pain away. 

Tomorrow I have a DEXA scan scheduled. Hopefully I'll get more answers after that. Next week I start PT. I've always been hyper aware of what is going on with my body, and to be in this position is discouraging to say the least. I've worked really hard to be healthy and strong. Ending up with a fractured L2 is like a slap in the face. Part of me is in doomsday mode, but the larger part of me knows this is a hiccup and I'll get through it. That larger part is able to be thankful that I work from home, and I don't have to try to navigate going to work and figuring out the shortest walking routes between destinations. The larger part is able to enjoy the time sitting out back with the boys, watching the birds fly between the trees, listening to them squabble with each other. 

The larger part is whispering perhaps this is a blessing in disguise. Perhaps it's time to truly slow down and simply enjoy each moment as it comes.

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