Another Step Forward
It is officially official -- I have returned to my maiden name. After the judge signed the order, after the young woman handed me three copies with the court's seal, I had to restrain myself from dancing out of the justice center. Like when I signed the lease for the first unit the kids and I lived in, I felt a sense of freedom.
My whole last name thing was the very first issue that cropped up in my marriage. Like the second day of my marriage. I intended to keep my maiden name. My husband opposed. Vehemently opposed.
What will my mother think? he said.
For weeks we went round and round about me changing my last name. To stop the bickering, I changed my last name. That was my first mistake. Giving in on that issue was like the crack in the lake's ice weakening the entire surface. Over the years other issues pushed against that crack until we fell through.
My main goal for 2018 was to change my last name back to my maiden name. I went to a lawyer to talk about this and other things related to my separation. Because Illinois does all court filings digitally now, I could do the name change request myself. So I did. I made my account, I found the proper forms (which took some time -- sifting through the forms is a bit tedious), I filled them out, and I filed them. Once they were filed, I anxiously waited to see if they would be accepted or rejected. My request was accepted, but the other two forms had to be revised since I needed to call the clerk and put a hearing on the calendar before those forms could be submitted. So I called the clerk, got my hearing date, revised the other two forms, and resubmitted. Once I got the acceptance email, I had to go to the local newspaper and have a notice of my name change request published for three consecutive weeks. I did that. Then it was just a waiting period until the hearing itself.
That finally happened yesterday, and it took all of five minutes after several months of waiting. But it did happen. While the hearing went smoothly and the judge smiled and said, "Congratulations" after signing the order, the best part of the morning was getting the certified copies. The young woman asked me how many copies I wanted, the first being free and any copy after that being $6. I asked for two additional copies. When she handed the copies to me, I held out my debit card to her. She smiled and said, "You're good." At that point, I seriously thought I was going to start crying.
As I sat on the bus, texting my friends to tell them the news, one responded by saying what a great Christmas present.
She was right: I received the one Christmas present I truly wanted this year.
My whole last name thing was the very first issue that cropped up in my marriage. Like the second day of my marriage. I intended to keep my maiden name. My husband opposed. Vehemently opposed.
What will my mother think? he said.
For weeks we went round and round about me changing my last name. To stop the bickering, I changed my last name. That was my first mistake. Giving in on that issue was like the crack in the lake's ice weakening the entire surface. Over the years other issues pushed against that crack until we fell through.
My main goal for 2018 was to change my last name back to my maiden name. I went to a lawyer to talk about this and other things related to my separation. Because Illinois does all court filings digitally now, I could do the name change request myself. So I did. I made my account, I found the proper forms (which took some time -- sifting through the forms is a bit tedious), I filled them out, and I filed them. Once they were filed, I anxiously waited to see if they would be accepted or rejected. My request was accepted, but the other two forms had to be revised since I needed to call the clerk and put a hearing on the calendar before those forms could be submitted. So I called the clerk, got my hearing date, revised the other two forms, and resubmitted. Once I got the acceptance email, I had to go to the local newspaper and have a notice of my name change request published for three consecutive weeks. I did that. Then it was just a waiting period until the hearing itself.
That finally happened yesterday, and it took all of five minutes after several months of waiting. But it did happen. While the hearing went smoothly and the judge smiled and said, "Congratulations" after signing the order, the best part of the morning was getting the certified copies. The young woman asked me how many copies I wanted, the first being free and any copy after that being $6. I asked for two additional copies. When she handed the copies to me, I held out my debit card to her. She smiled and said, "You're good." At that point, I seriously thought I was going to start crying.
As I sat on the bus, texting my friends to tell them the news, one responded by saying what a great Christmas present.
She was right: I received the one Christmas present I truly wanted this year.
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