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Saturday, May 19, 2012

The Clouds Have Parted

Wow! I didn't realize just how lousy I was feeling for so dang long. Well, I kinda knew, but now, this morning, truly feeling like I have my body back, the one that I thought had deserted me10 years ago, I realize I was merely going through the motions of trying to not let anyone else see how miserable I was feeling. Yeah, 10 years. I remember the very first day of feeling lousy 10 years ago, and how I believed my body was betraying me. I went to my GP, my gynie, and even a mental health counselor to try and find answers to what was happening to me. My GP referred me to a neurologist (I never went). My gynie suggested I start taking Prozac (she is no longer my gynie). The mental health counselor just shrugged and said, "Sounds like depression. Lots of people are depressed." I didn't like the answers any of these professionals gave me, so I set out on my own to find the answers to what was happening to me.

I began reading anything and everything I could get my hands on. All the paths were leading to one culprit: perimenopause. Not being one to want to take meds of any kind, I worked to ease the symptoms the natural way. Over the years, I've become mostly vegetarian (I admit, I love a good, greasy hamburger every now and then), caffeine free (though I allow myself a cola after a ride of 50 miles or more), and cut way back on the sugar intake (which is extremely difficult with a sugar addict in the house, though even he has now been candy free for over two weeks!). I limit the amount of processed foods and white breads I eat, going so far as to eat the wonderful, greasy hamburger bunless. These measures, along with regular exercise, did seem to reduce the severity of the symptoms to being tolerable, and when I go on a binge and eat items that are on the No-No list, I can feel the adverse effects, at which time I kick myself for being lazy and basically have to start all over again.

All of my work to regulate my wacky body seemed to be for naught the last three months, though. No matter what I ate, no matter how many hours I was spending on the bike doing interval training or going for long distances, I was gaining weight, feeling incredibly tired all the time, unable to truly focus, and as if these things weren't enough, I was having two periods a month. I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to do the summer ride feeling so horrible. I caved and went to my new gynie.

During the visit, I explained to her what had been going on. She listened then offered several options. We settled on combining two of the three options before the ride, aiming to give me relief from having two periods a month, and early yesterday morning, both options were exercised. This morning, I woke up feeling like I've awakened from a 10 year dream. Just looking at my body in the mirror, I can see the puffiness from the constant water retention is gone. I feel truly rested, not hoping a hot shower followed by a minute of standing under cold water will wake me up. I feel happy rather than sad.

Now I'm truly ready for the ride.

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