Spring Break is Over
I just want to cry. The two weeks leading up to break, I felt so excited and looked so forward to having a week off. Then the week got here. The first day was delicious--I didn't have to do a darn thing except get the kids to school then back home when school ends. The in-between hours belonged to me. Each day that followed that first, though, all I thought about was how another day was going by which meant the week was creeping towards the end, and I would have to return to work. All the excitement, all the anticipation poof, gone.
Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing. While I enjoy my work, I feel like I'm constantly scrambling to keep up with the grading, the other must-do's that go along with the job. I've also felt for awhile now that I'm falling behind my colleagues. Most of them have been working towards a doctorate in one area or another. They're moving up the salary scale because of getting another degree, and they're also moving in a pedagogical direction quite different from mine. I have no desire to return to school. I have no desire to infuse my teaching with an ideology that most of my students wouldn't understand or care about. I teach writing, and while I agree there are a number of factors that can affect a student's writing, including social and cultural factors, trying to engage students in conversations concerning these issues has proven to be disappointing. Most 18 and 19 year olds just want to get through the course and move on. Their opinion is leave the heavy discussions for grad school. I kind of agree with them.
So where does this leave me? There are times I feel the need for creativity so acutely my whole being throbs. These moments I sit down and write, or play with my various creations I have going at any given time. This week I worked on the book and shared it with another writer. Being able to discuss writerly issues with someone who understands is like drinking an apple martini. Delicious. The body warms and tingles. The desire for more becomes urgent.
And so I am writing. Every spare moment I have. Though spring break is over, the writing doesn't have to be. Time might be hard to come by with having to go to classes, reading and responding to student work, attending my own kids' track meets, and making sure Hubby gets some attention. All of these eat up time. But right now, with the progress I made this week, with the feedback I received from a fellow writer, I believe I can conquer time.
Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing. While I enjoy my work, I feel like I'm constantly scrambling to keep up with the grading, the other must-do's that go along with the job. I've also felt for awhile now that I'm falling behind my colleagues. Most of them have been working towards a doctorate in one area or another. They're moving up the salary scale because of getting another degree, and they're also moving in a pedagogical direction quite different from mine. I have no desire to return to school. I have no desire to infuse my teaching with an ideology that most of my students wouldn't understand or care about. I teach writing, and while I agree there are a number of factors that can affect a student's writing, including social and cultural factors, trying to engage students in conversations concerning these issues has proven to be disappointing. Most 18 and 19 year olds just want to get through the course and move on. Their opinion is leave the heavy discussions for grad school. I kind of agree with them.
So where does this leave me? There are times I feel the need for creativity so acutely my whole being throbs. These moments I sit down and write, or play with my various creations I have going at any given time. This week I worked on the book and shared it with another writer. Being able to discuss writerly issues with someone who understands is like drinking an apple martini. Delicious. The body warms and tingles. The desire for more becomes urgent.
And so I am writing. Every spare moment I have. Though spring break is over, the writing doesn't have to be. Time might be hard to come by with having to go to classes, reading and responding to student work, attending my own kids' track meets, and making sure Hubby gets some attention. All of these eat up time. But right now, with the progress I made this week, with the feedback I received from a fellow writer, I believe I can conquer time.
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