Standing at the Trailhead of Winter

For awhile now I've been working towards today's ride, a century downstate at a national park. I knew hills would definitely be a part of this ride, but I wasn't expecting the inclines we faced. The first hill was definitely an eye-opener if not a body waker-uppper. The second one made me smile as I passed several people who were riding bikes that were way more expensive than my cheapo sporting goods store end of the season clearance bike. The third one did Hubby in, and I found that from then on I had to stop at the top of each hill and wait for him as he walked his bike up. I have to hand it to him--he tried and he kept going. But at mile 40 he said, "Please just go the 62 miles and stay with me." I was torn. I'd been working towards this century for several months, and all I've been thinking about is finishing the season off with a century ride. One look at him, though, was enough to see he really needed my help to finish the metric century. I couldn...

I just want to cry. The two weeks leading up to break, I felt so excited and looked so forward to having a week off. Then the week got here. The first day was delicious--I didn't have to do a darn thing except get the kids to school then back home when school ends. The in-between hours belonged to me. Each day that followed that first, though, all I thought about was how another day was going by which meant the week was creeping towards the end, and I would have to return to work. All the excitement, all the anticipation poof, gone. Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing. While I enjoy my work, I feel like I'm constantly scrambling to keep up with the grading, the other must-do's that go along with the job. I've also felt for awhile now that I'm falling behind my colleagues. Most of them have been working towards a doctorate in one area or another. They're moving up the salary scale because of getting another degree, and they're also moving in a pedagogical d...

Sometimes things happen that just make me sink into a sadness I have a difficult time climbing out of. This morning a situation occurred with my hubbie that sent me spiralling downward. This evening, I'm still there. The tears threaten to spill, and I have to put a lot of effort into not succumbing to them. All this effort has worn me out, making me want to go to bed early, pulling the covers up over my head. I just want to hide. When this kind of sadness hits me, it's usually brought about by being terribly disappointed by someone I love dearly. I try so hard not to disappoint those I love, so when I'm the one who is on the receiving end of being disappointed, I take it really hard. And I know the disappointment diminishes the love I feel for that person just a teeny-tiny bit. I've often thought I need a punching bag to help me deal with times like this. When I feel the sadness overwhelming me, I can put on the gloves and start punching away, beating the sadness into s...