Standing at the Trailhead of Winter

A new year. A, for the most part, clean slate to work with. What to do with it is almost paralyzingly intimidating. I know for sure I want to get back on the bike and ride, piling up the mileage like never before. I had the same idea for 2013, right after completing the cross-country ride in 2012, but when 2013 actually rolled around, I could feel the desire to get out on a daily basis just wasn't there. Each day I would get up with the intention of going out for a couple of hours, but deep in my core I kept feeling hesitation. Almost like something was gripping my insides and saying, "No, not today. The time isn't right." I listened to that voice, mostly just cycling to work or to the store. On a few occasions I did go out for longer rides, but these were few and far between. Now, I can feel the desire building to get back out, rack up the mileage. I'm glad I listened to whatever was telling me to not cycle, as this allowed me to turn my attention to gardening ...

This morning I went out for a ride, eventually getting 51 miles in. My desire was to try and do 40 miles at an average of 18 mph. At the 20 mile mark, I was at 18 but I was also out of gas. I slowed down for a bit, actually for 10 miles, then decided to eat my PB&J sandwich to see if it along with the sports drink would give me a boost. The next ten miles went better. I was able to keep the average speed at 17.1, but because I was truly fatigued by the 40 mile mark, I slowed way down to finish off the last 11 miles. So now I'm wondering if I should do the endurance race next Saturday. I know I can go for six hours without any problem at all. Me being the person that I am, though, was thinking I should shoot for a respectable average speed for the six hours, and in my mind that respectable speed is 18 mph. After today, I know I won't be able to do it. 17 maybe. But 18 is most likely not going to happen. Hubby chalks my fatigue up to a medical procedure I underwent on Wed...

My epic walk on Monday left me with a blister on each of my feet, both exactly in the same place near the heel. These aren't just run of the mill blisters; they're ginormous. The one on my right foot is the bigger of the two, and yesterday evening I was in some major pain. I've had blisters before, and none of them ever hurt like the one I have now. The slightest pressure on the skin near the blister was painful as well. I was fearing it was becoming infected. As soon as I got home (we were at football practice with my youngest), I dabbed triple antibiotic ointment on it and took a couple of pain relievers. An hour later, the pain was nearly gone. Today, the pain is there, but it's much less than what I was dealing with last evening. I've not had to take any pain relievers today, so hopefully whatever it was is on the mend. With it now being August--can you believe it?--the last couple of days I've been mulling over my goals for the summer. At this point, I...

Now that the stair climb is over, my thoughts are turning to the next event on the calendar, a 5k. And I'm actually looking forward to it. Since December, I've been working on the my mental state more than I've been working on my physical state. The physical is in a good place right now with being able to run a 5k without any trouble. The form is improving, the endurance is increasing, and the speed is there to tap into. The mental state, though, has a tough time seeing all of these things as positives. I did a lot of self-reflection through November, even taking the month off, and made one big decision. That decision is I will participate in 5k events, sprint tri events, and cycling events, but only for personal enjoyment, not to try and prove something to anyone, especially myself. Being a perfectionist as well as highly competitive, this was a difficult step for me to take. Getting back to training in December, I started slowly, running and cycling on the trainer alm...

So I had no clue what real stair climbing was going to be like. A girl has the right to be delusional every now and then, doesn't she? I climbed real stairs today, and rather than do the parking garage, Hubby took me to the newest hotel in town, the one with 9 floors. The stairwell was a balmy 68 degrees, so I didn't have to bundle up, and after a kiss for good luck, I began stairclimbing while Hubby went to take the elevator to the top floor. One minute nineteen seconds later, I was at the top. I beat Hubby to the 9th floor landing by a good five seconds. We took the elevator back down, walked to the stairwell, and I set off again. This time I pushed it a bit more to see if I could better my one-nineteen. At the 9th floor landing I punched the stopwatch: 1:10. Once again, I beat Hubby by a good margin. We repeated this process three more times. The third time I slowed down to see what my time would be if I mimicked somewhat the pace I use on the stairstepper. I reached t...

It always amazes me how when something put on the calendar months in advance is suddenly right there in front of me, and with each day it gets closer, the more hectic my thinking becomes. I constantly question if I'm training enough, eating the right foods, improving in any way that will translate into a satisfactory race. In two days, I'll know the answer. In the meantime, I'm trying to only think positive thoughts. When I run now, I don't allow myself to focus on any fatigue I may be feeling. I don't allow myself to acknowledge the heaviness in my legs when I first begin. I focus only on my newest mantra: is what I'm doing getting me closer to my goal or farther away? I really, really like this question as it applies to so many areas of my life, not just the training and eating. With my writing, each day I sit down at the computer and when I go to surf the internet or hang around Facebook, that question spurs me to pull up my current work and spend time on it....

since my last post. Actually, I've been toying with the idea of deleting the blog. Doing so would mean one less thing I have to feel guilty about not working on. Over the last two years or so, I have been trying to live by the "enoughness" rule--having just enough in my life to not feel pressured, to not feel like a failure for not completing whatever may be on the plate at any given time, and to not interfere with family time. Enoughness also reflects my desire to be happy with less all the way around. I don't need the designer clothes anymore, the bigger house where I have a room to call my studio, or the vacations every summer. I'm happy with what I have. That said, when I actually began writing this post, I decided to continue with it. I have some ideas for what I can use the blog for, and I'll see how it goes for awhile. And with that said, I'm going to begin now, actually tomorrow, with my attempt at my first sprint tri. I've been training since...