The Computer My Son Built

Eight, maybe nine years ago, I was frustrated with my sons. Both were deep into gaming, spending hour after hour on their computers. I didn't understand how they could sit like that, hours at a time, staring at a screen, their fingers moving quickly on the keys to operate the character they'd created within the game. I would call them to lunch or dinner and hear, "It'll be a bit. I'm in the middle of a game!" I didn't understand why they couldn't just pause it and come eat the meal I had spent time making. I would ask them to complete a chore I'd asked them to do two days before. Again, it would be, "I can't. I'm in the middle of something here!" I would get angry.

One day, I'd reached that moment a lot of parents reach: I thought I had failed. In being supportive of their love for gaming, in allowing them to buy games labeled "Mature" when they weren't able to buy the games themselves I'd enabled a behavior I now detested. I was certain my boys were going to end up living in my basement for the rest of their lives, wiling away the days, months, years playing video games. 

Then I thought maybe I needed to see what made gaming so attractive to them. They certainly weren't the only ones who were caught up in spending hours and hours playing. I'd heard students talking about their time spent playing this game or that game. Which is why they didn't get their writing assignment completed and submitted by the due date. Maybe if I played a game myself I would better understand my boys as well as my students. 

I went to Funny Delightful Son and asked him to build me a computer so I could play the kinds of games he and his brother were playing. Funny Delightful Son jumped into action, finding all the components needed for a really good gaming system. He explained to me what each piece he was putting in the cart did as part of the computer, and when the last item was selected, I paid for it all then sat back and waited for the parts to arrive. A few days later, my gaming computer was complete.

Funny Delightful Son and Angel Baby were excited I was entering their domain. They sat with me and explained what kinds of games were available and what kinds of games they thought I might like. Funny Delightful Son suggested Fallout 4 as my first game, and since I knew absolutely nothing, I went along. Both boys hovered as the game began, and my fingers stumbled over trying to use the right keys to get my character to walk around the living room of the house within the game. They laughed at my ineptitude. I laughed. What was I, a woman in her late 40's, thinking? Could I really learn to play a video game?

I fell in love with Fallout 4. I spent hours and hours completing the quests. At times (many times), I would call to one of the boys to come help me. They were so patient. They were so helpful. They were so encouraging. I learned their language and could talk to them about video gaming: whereas, before my venture into their world, my eyes glazed over whenever they talked about HP, leveling up, XP, or NPC. A gulf had been bridged.

One Saturday, I started playing Fallout 4 early in the day. I was still playing at 11 pm that night. I'd spent over 12 hours playing with hardly a break along the way. My husband came in and said something to me. It barely registered he was there. A few seconds later he tapped me on the shoulder. Both boys were standing in the doorway. 

"We need to have in intervention," my husband said. "Your mother has been playing for over 12 hours." 

Both boys looked at me. Simultaneously they said, "We see no problem here." They then turned and went back to their computers. 

That computer my son built for me was the doorway into a whole new world. It gave me insight into my sons. It taught me a new language. It instilled in me a healthy appreciation for those who create video games.

I found that yes, even as a woman in her late 40's, I could learn to play video games. I will never be as nimble on the keyboard as my boys, I will never have the quick reaction my boys demonstrate when in sticky situations within a game, and I will definitely take much, much longer to complete a game. But I did complete Fallout 4. It was a truly bittersweet moment when I did.  

That computer gave up the ghost yesterday, but I won't part with it. Not yet. Maybe not ever.