When Failures Bring Positives

As I was sitting at my desk last night, Lovely Beautiful Daughter came in and wrapped her arms around me.

"I love you, Mama," she said. "I want you to know, too, how proud I am of you."

I leaned my head against her shoulder, unsure of what to say. When she sat on the end of my bed, I looked at her. I could see the little girl that had always made me laugh. I could see the young woman who is so kind. A free spirit who sees the bright side of life.

I smiled and told her thank you.

"Really. The last few weeks have been rough, but you've stood your ground. You're not giving in. You're moving in the direction you want to go."

I've been trying to keep the things happening with my husband quiet. I try not to say much around the kids. This past week, with seeing the lawyer and going over to get a few more things from my husband's place, I've not been able to keep things as low-key as I like. I've been tense.

And I know more than ever that I cannot and will not ever go back to him.

I told this to Lovely Beautiful Daughter.

"I know. I figured that some time ago," she said. "And it's okay."

I sometimes comment to my kids about how my failed relationships are not to be used as examples of how two people should be with one another. My kids, though, see my difficulties as examples of what not to do, and instead of telling me how awful I've done they turn it around and say I actually showed them how they should be with that other important person in their lives. I love them for seeing the positive when all I'm seeing is negative.

This weekend, I sat and watched my kids with their plus one's (as they refer to their significant others). I noticed they speak gently, smile at each other often, and simply enjoy being with each other. All six were sitting at the table at one point, eating pizza and breadsticks, laughing with one another, talking about movies, culture, and life in general.

I looked at Lovely Beautiful Daughter as she sat on the end of my bed and told her how much I love her.

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