I Am

Yesterday I jumped on the scale to make sure I'm maintaining the goal I set for myself. I stopped weighing in once a week when I hit my goal, instead going for once a month. I was pleasantly surprised to see another two pounds have come off since my weigh-in a month ago. I find this just crazy considering how for years I spent so much time scrutinizing what I ate and how much exercise I engaged in to keep the weight off. Ever since going whole food plant based, I've really not had to do anything other than eat whole foods that are plant based. I've not had to spend an hour or two every day working out. I've not had to count calories. I've not beat myself up for eating a couple of cookies, thinking I just messed up my progress. All of the used-to-do behavior is no longer, which feels great.

When I reached my weight loss goal, the thought of losing ten more pounds crossed my mind. Given my height, I can lose ten more and still be considered in the normal range. Right now, I'm almost smack dab in the middle of the range for my height, so taking off another ten would just put me at the low end of the range. Now I'm eight pounds away and my thoughts are if it happens, great, if it doesn't and I simply maintain where I am that's great, too. Either way is just fine. All my clothes fit so comfortably, and I'm not starving myself by any stretch of the imagination. I'm simply eating foods that are nutritious and filling.

Vegan gluten free yumminess!

As a gift to myself for honoring my decision to eat more healthfully and truly live the life I feel compelled to live, I made a vegan gluten free chocolate cake. I've not had much in the way of baked goods or sweets since going whole food plant based, and I knew Lovely Beautiful Daughter would be with me a few days during the week, so a cake sounded like a wonderful gift. She and I can sit in front of the fire in the evenings, chatting over cake and coffee. What we don't eat, I can freeze and pull out as a treat every now and then. 

I am wondering if my change to a whole food plant based way of eating has had a positive effect on my eyelids. For the last five or six years, my eyelids would get red, flaky, and incredibly itchy. It got to the point I went to my dermatologist two years ago and asked for help. She prescribed an ointment, and it did help, but I had to use it a couple times a week to keep the redness, flaky skin, and itch at bay. For the last two months, I've not had to use the ointment. My eyelids are no longer red, flaky, or itchy. I've been waiting for them to flare up, but so far they've been free of whatever was ailing them these last few years. I truly believe the highly processed foods so many of us consume contain ingredients the human body can't tolerate. Maybe I was consuming something my body didn't like and my eyelids were the victim. I'm just really happy they are now cleared up and I no longer have to use the ointment.

Last summer, I joined a writing group in hopes I would get some feedback on a couple of pieces I've been working on. At the time, though there was a community sharing and chat function within the website, a lot of the group members conducted their chats/sharing via Facebook, which I'm not on. I ended up missing out on everything the others were doing, so eventually I just stopped checking into the website. I'd not had to spend a lot of money to be part of the group, so I didn't feel like it was a huge loss. Then, right before Christmas, the website creator sent me an email saying I'd been added to a new program she'd created. The cost of the program was almost $2000. I emailed her immediately, thinking there'd been a mistake, but she assured me it was not a mistake. She wanted me to be a part of the new program since it would all take place within the website and not on Facebook. At no cost to me. How kind was that!?

So I checked out the new program, and the thought that entered my head was, "You have just been given a gift, JP. Use it." I have since gone through several of the modules and been part of the zoom calls each month. The group is wonderful, and I'm learning so much about writing a novel (it's one thing to have a degree in literature; it's a totally different thing to actually write said literature). Last week, one of the participants talked about how difficult it is to say, "I am a writer. I am writing my book." and I totally understood what she was saying. I, too, find it very difficult to call myself a writer/author. I find it almost silly to say, "I am writing my book" when I've only gotten two chapters written. But I am writing it. I am a writer/author. I've had several pieces published. Maybe not a novel, but they're still publications. So yes, I am a writer/author.

So, what does all this have to do with being a whole food plant based vegan? This morning, as I was thinking about losing the eight pounds, I thought, "I can do this." Then I thought, "No, JP, you are doing this." There's just something so powerful in thinking of oneself in the state of being rather than not having achieved it and working towards it. 

I am a whole food plant based vegan. 

I am healthy. 

I am happy. 

I am living the life I've always envisioned myself living but didn't have the courage to follow through on.