Stuck in a Funk

The smaller apartment works perfectly for me. Each moment I'm here, working or reading or watching something on Netflix, is a moment I feel content. A few years ago I would have never considered myself an apartment kind of person, but for now, it suits me and my needs.

My desire to go small, to reduce the amount of stuff in my life, to focus more on experiences rather than having things -- these are all happening. 

The simplicity of it all -- less space to have to clean, each piece of furniture serving a purpose instead of just sitting gathering dust and taking up an area -- makes me wonder why anyone would want big. At what point did big become a thing? I know it's always been a thing with the mansions and castles of the rich through the years, but seriously. Big seems overwhelming. Big seems unnecessary. Big seems cold. Give me manageable. Give me purpose. Give me warmth.

My carfree life so far is working out. I've not really had any need to go anywhere the days we've had rain. Except for this morning. I'd forgotten about a dental appointment until yesterday, and the forecast for the week has been thunderstorms. I awoke around 5 am to the sound of rain. Thankfully it tapered off before 7, and by the time I left for the dentist shortly after 8, the pavement was drying. I wore my rain jacket just in case, but the rain stayed away. After the dentist, I pedaled to the store for some fruits and veggies. The route has a nice hill to my street. Then it's a quick downhill to home.

The writing has tapered off significantly. I've been in kind of a weird funk, the kind that makes me not want to do much of anything. I have to force myself to engage in the activities I really enjoy, and I'm not sure why this happens. I forced myself to write 1000 words on Monday just to say I wrote something. Tuesday and Wednesday I tinkered with that 1000 words, not really making any changes. Mostly just reading it and re-reading it. Like that's going to do much good. I forced myself to read a chapter in the book I'm currently into, but I'm not enjoying it. Not like I enjoyed the book I finished before moving on to this one. I forced myself to write this post, just to give myself another reason to get words down that I can return to another time. Honestly, I'm not enjoying writing this post. I think it actually sucks. But I'm going to grind it out.

I did get an email telling me my proposal for a session at the regional conference in October was accepted. That's good news as now I have something to work towards. The session will be about my writing self, how I use my ups and downs as a writer to show my students what the writing life is like. This means I need to keep hammering out pieces. I also need to send things off for publication since publishing will also be a part of the conference session. Hopefully, something of mine will be accepted for publication between now and October. The only way this is going to happen, though, is if I pull myself out of this funk.

So, I'm off to figure out how to get past the doldrums. 

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