Standing at the Trailhead of Winter

The sprint tri has come and gone, and what a learning experience it was. All morning the adrenaline pumped. By the time I jumped into the pool, I was a mess. I started out okay, but after the first two laps, I had caught up to three people in front of me. I couldn't go around them with people on the other side of lanes coming at me. I became so frustrated and discouraged, angry at myself for not having the guts to find a way to get around them. I truly think I could have finished faster if I had. I did finish at the ten minute mark, so I'm happy with this since it was my first tri, but I know I can do even better. The bike was difficult. Pouring rain soaked me through almost as soon as I started out. Going east was good since the wind was blowing out of the west, but once I made the turn to head back, the easy going became a chore. I tried to make a strong finish once I had the straightaway, and I did pass some people who had taken off before me, so that was encouraging. The ru...

since my last post. Actually, I've been toying with the idea of deleting the blog. Doing so would mean one less thing I have to feel guilty about not working on. Over the last two years or so, I have been trying to live by the "enoughness" rule--having just enough in my life to not feel pressured, to not feel like a failure for not completing whatever may be on the plate at any given time, and to not interfere with family time. Enoughness also reflects my desire to be happy with less all the way around. I don't need the designer clothes anymore, the bigger house where I have a room to call my studio, or the vacations every summer. I'm happy with what I have. That said, when I actually began writing this post, I decided to continue with it. I have some ideas for what I can use the blog for, and I'll see how it goes for awhile. And with that said, I'm going to begin now, actually tomorrow, with my attempt at my first sprint tri. I've been training since...

I just want to cry. The two weeks leading up to break, I felt so excited and looked so forward to having a week off. Then the week got here. The first day was delicious--I didn't have to do a darn thing except get the kids to school then back home when school ends. The in-between hours belonged to me. Each day that followed that first, though, all I thought about was how another day was going by which meant the week was creeping towards the end, and I would have to return to work. All the excitement, all the anticipation poof, gone. Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing. While I enjoy my work, I feel like I'm constantly scrambling to keep up with the grading, the other must-do's that go along with the job. I've also felt for awhile now that I'm falling behind my colleagues. Most of them have been working towards a doctorate in one area or another. They're moving up the salary scale because of getting another degree, and they're also moving in a pedagogical d...

My middle child turned 13 yesterday. We kept it simple this year, just a birthday dinner followed by cake. Those in attendance included just us, minus his sister who had a track meet a couple of hours away, and in a quiet way we celebrated the day he was born. As I baked his cake during the day, a white with chocolate ribbon through the middle and white icing to top it off, I thought about finding out I was pregnant with him. I was elated to be having a boy, and from the moment he entered the world, he has shown me just how much he loves me. Sometimes he becomes a bit too dependent, wanting to be with me all the time, almost sitting on top of me at times as he gets that close. I try never to say anything, for I know one day he'll be more than ready to leave the nest. It will be then that I will be glad for his need for attention, for closeness. It will be then that I wish he was here, sitting as close to me as possible. Because he is starting track this week, I bought him a set of ...

The bike flies, and I don't have to put tons of effort into making it fly. For two months I've been riding my hubby's bike we have set up in the garage, and everytime I workout, my thighs burn with the effort it takes to keep the speed up around 14 mph. I figured this was just the way it was. Now, though, after being out twice on the new bike, I have found out otherwise. With much less effort, I'm able to maintain a speed of 15 mph or more. Pure bliss. Today we went out and finished 7 miles in about a half hour. That's not too bad. Since it was only the second time I've been out of the garage, I'm happy with the distance/time. When the race actually comes around, I know I'll be putting in a lot more effort to go faster, so I'm hoping to finish up the 13.6 miles in less than 40 minutes. Realistic? Right now, I don't know, but I'm feeling stronger and more fit with each day I train.

I finally cracked and stepped onto the scale. I knew better than to do this, but when my brother asked me the other night how much weight I've lost because I'm looking thin, I decided it was time to see exactly what I've lost. I've gained 5 pounds. I almost grabbed up the scale to fling it through the bathroom window. It has never been my friend, and now it seems like a straight up enemy. When my hubby learned my weight has increased, he seemed excited. "It's muscle," he said. "You're incresing muscle with all the biking, swimming, and running." Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but the idea of muscle rather than fat is easier to take. Not by a whole lot, but still easier. So I took my measurements to compare to last month's numbers. All are the same except two: my hips went down .5 inches and my chest increased by 1 inch. Again, not quite like I was hoping to see. My hips are slim anyway, so losing a half inch makes my hip to waist rati...

I love watching the Olympics. Watching athletes in phenomenal shape motivates me to work a little harder when I'm running or biking. I know I'll never be in the kind of shape the athletes are, but I know I can improve and be better than where I am today. Knowing this has made me make adjustments to how I'm working towards the sprint tri, and because I'm seeing some real improvements in the three different areas, I see a tremendous effect on my mindset, not just with working out, either. Other areas of my life are benefitting from the time being spent on the treadmill, the bike, and in the water. One major turn in my outlook is not to waste time. I put a post-it note in my office with the message, "Every second counts." Everyday I see this as I'm working, and I've been so much more productive in getting papers read, assignments drawn up, and other work-related matters taken care of. I don't watch as much TV anymore, either. This has been an area of ...