Standing at the Trailhead of Winter

My project is currently at 26,000 words. Almost halfway to my goal of 60,000 words. Actually, I'm shooting for 60,000-70,000 words by the time I'm done. That'll give me a good starting place to go in and revise, maybe add to what already exists. Every time I see the wordcount roll past another thousand words written, I get stoked. Even finding out I have to pay a couple thousand in federal taxes can't diminish the happiness I feel seeing the writing coming along. I went in and did my taxes last night, figuring I better get on it, and by the time I was done, I was just shaking my head over how much I have to pay on top of what was taken out of my yearly salary. I couldn't figure out why I owed so much since I had gone to HR and revised my withholding, so I went out to work today to see if I could make another change. I'd like to avoid having to write a check to the IRS every year. After talking with our payroll person, we figured out what will work. Hopefully. ...

I made a decision yesterday about this whole financial mess. If I can, I'm going to get a personal loan to pay it. I just want to be done with it. I need to be in control of the mess rather than it controlling my every waking moment. With the personal loan, yes, it won't be done as I will have a chunk from my income going to pay the loan back, but at least I will know where the situation stands at all times. And really, I've known from day one that I'll be the one having to pay. As the old saying goes, "you can't get blood from a turnip," the turnip being my husband, and since his job situation is still what it was over a year ago, logic dictates the one with the income will be the one who will have to pay. That's me. For over a year, I allowed my husband to "handle" this issue since it really was his doings that put us in the position we're in. I wanted to believe he would take care of it. His way of taking care of it has been to remai...

Lots of negative, hurtful, mean thoughts swirl and crash into one another as I sit here, trying to do my taxes. Nothing else in my life sets me off like filling out these forms. It's not so much that the numbers, the rules, and the exceptions make my eyes glaze over. Believe me, they do. It's just that I don't make much money considering and having to justify every little thing is mind-numbing. Each year, when I do my taxes, I end up thinking about the education I have (an MA), the amount of time I spend on my job (upwards of 55 hours a week), the amount of time I put into professional development (reading, conferences, publishing), and the amount of money I bring home (enough that I can save a little out of each check--not a huge amount but enough to create an emergency fund). All of this combined makes me feel like I make squat compared to a lot of other people who have less education, spend less time doing their job, and aren't required to participate in professional...