Standing at the Trailhead of Winter

I made a decision yesterday about this whole financial mess. If I can, I'm going to get a personal loan to pay it. I just want to be done with it. I need to be in control of the mess rather than it controlling my every waking moment. With the personal loan, yes, it won't be done as I will have a chunk from my income going to pay the loan back, but at least I will know where the situation stands at all times. And really, I've known from day one that I'll be the one having to pay. As the old saying goes, "you can't get blood from a turnip," the turnip being my husband, and since his job situation is still what it was over a year ago, logic dictates the one with the income will be the one who will have to pay. That's me. For over a year, I allowed my husband to "handle" this issue since it really was his doings that put us in the position we're in. I wanted to believe he would take care of it. His way of taking care of it has been to remai...

Wow! I didn't realize just how lousy I was feeling for so dang long. Well, I kinda knew, but now, this morning, truly feeling like I have my body back, the one that I thought had deserted me10 years ago, I realize I was merely going through the motions of trying to not let anyone else see how miserable I was feeling. Yeah, 10 years. I remember the very first day of feeling lousy 10 years ago, and how I believed my body was betraying me. I went to my GP, my gynie, and even a mental health counselor to try and find answers to what was happening to me. My GP referred me to a neurologist (I never went). My gynie suggested I start taking Prozac (she is no longer my gynie). The mental health counselor just shrugged and said, "Sounds like depression. Lots of people are depressed." I didn't like the answers any of these professionals gave me, so I set out on my own to find the answers to what was happening to me. I began reading anything and everything I could get my hands ...