Standing at the Trailhead of Winter

Yesterday I called the neurologist to ask about the MRI. When an actual person answered the phone, I was a bit stunned as every time I called before I had to leave a message then wait for a call back, which more often than not didn't happen. So to have a live human being answer the phone kind of threw me. I recovered quickly and asked when I might hear what the MRI showed. The woman put me on hold. About a minute later she returned and informed me she needed to call the hospital where I had the MRI completed to have the results sent to the neurologist. I'm calling BS. When I left the hospital, I was told the results would be sent to my doctor within 48 hours. My guess is the results were sent. My doctor hadn't looked at them. My call sparked a CYA response. An appointment to discuss the results was set up for next week, which is suspect to me since the first time I called to set up the initial appointment I had to wait two weeks to get in. Now, I have to wait to start PT be...

 

After agonizing deliberation and talking with close friends, I decided to cancel my Nebraska trip. My gut is telling me to stay put, so I'm going to listen and hang out here at home. The cranes will be there next year, and hopefully I will be, too. I have a dear, dear friend in Spain, and she just learned her semester is over. She has been ordered to return home pronto. My college has asked that she self-quarantine once home. Her husband and four-year-old twins are with her. I cannot imagine the worry, fear, and frustration she must be experiencing right now, trying to get everything packed up, to the airport, then home before tomorrow. Another friend just returned from France. She, too, has been asked to self-quarantine. One university here has extended spring break another week, and all students are not to return to campus until further notice. All classes will be online until at least April 12. Another university here has called back all students studying abroad. My tr...

So I'm still waiting for a critique on my haiku. Three days. The contest closes May 31st, so several weeks remain for someone to take pity on me and offer up some feedback. I wonder what will happen if my haiku go the rest of the month without being critiqued. All it says in the rules is the entry must be submitted publicly for the duration of the contest. It doesn't say the submission must receive critiques. Honestly, though, I really don't know why of the 25 different entries, mine is the only one without any critique or comment. The snarky side of me is saying, they're just that good! What could possibly be said about them to make them better than they already are? The paranoid critic side of me is saying, they're so bad no one wants to be the first one to say so.  This has been the back and forth in my head for the last three days, and this exchange has been particularly bad today. I finally copied off the haiku and gave them to a poet friend to read and giv...

At this point, I'm not sure what to think about the pieces I'm writing. I remind myself all the time, I mean All. The. Time., not to be emotionally attached. I keep in mind how writing, especially fiction and poetry it seems to me, is incredibly subjective. Both of these notes-to-self notwithstanding, I still wonder if I'll ever produce anything that will be deemed publish-worthy. If the feedback I'm getting from the readers at the site I joined is any indication, I won't ever make the cut. A more recent piece is one in which I'm exploring the juxtaposition between enjoying a life of exploration, being able to experience the feelings brought about through travel and being able to make the calls versus not having this kind of freedom. The title of the poem is "Rift," which I was hoping would help the reader see there is a line/break/hole/chasm/difference of opinion that separates the two. The way the poem is set up, I thought, also gets at this idea o...

Yet another rejection. At least this one only took just over two months to show up in my inbox. I have two other pieces out, one that's been hanging for over five months, the other almost at the year point now. To be honest, I'd forgotten about the one that's been out for a year, so I sent an inquiry email today, asking about its status. I'm figuring since I've not heard anything, the answer will be a no. When Funny Delightful Son came in and asked what I'd been doing all morning, I answered, "Crying in my coffee over being rejected again." He thought my comment funny. I was being serious. Well, just a little bit, anyway. But I just marked the submission off the list I've been keeping, made note of the pieces that are open to being sent somewhere else, and researched more possible publications. I read some more poetry, hoping to soak up what it is about them that got them published, but more often than not I found myself sitting back in my chair...

Yesterday I finished the last poem of the trio I began last week. It's actually the first poem of the trio, but it was the one I started after having the second and third drafted. That's kind of how my fiction turns out, as well. I always have to know the ending before I can back up and start from the beginning. I need to know where I'm going to end up, I guess. With the three poems drafted, I turned my attention to getting a few sent out to literary magazines today. I selected three I believe are strong and demonstrate the theme I'm working with for my project, then went to work researching a possible market. I found a literary magazine out of Texas, read several issues of it, and figured why not? I can see my work being a fit with this magazine, but then again, I think that with every literary magazine I send my writing to, only to be told in the rejection that my work isn't a good fit. This whole publishing thing is so completely frustrating. I ran into a col...

So I got three good days of walking in then the work week hit and . . . nothing. Up at 5, to work by 7, done with work at 3:30, home by 3:45, errands if there are any, dinner, chat with Beautiful Daughter from 6-7, then more student work to finish, finally bed around 10. The thought there's always tomorrow offers some comfort, but so far tomorrow has come without a workout happening. Frustration is mounting. Times like this I like watching motivational videos. This one is awesome and as soon as I'm finished chatting with Beautiful Daughter, I'm out the door and to the rec center. ***Update***: Mission accomplished. 15 minutes on the treadmill, 18 minutes on the spinner, and 15 minutes of upper body weights. Yeah, Baby!

When I met the man I now call Hubby, I weighed 135 pounds, which was the lightest I've ever weighed since junior high. All through high school, I hovered right at 150. After high school, college, grad school and three kids, I've hovered right at 150. Let's just say I've never been dainty. And more often than not, I'm alright with that. But I worked really, really hard to get to 135, and I truly enjoyed being able to go into a fitting room and try on clothes of all sorts, and come out feeling happy. Well, over a six year period, I put on 23 pounds. When I hit 158, I was one unhappy camper. That's when Hubby and I started our own Biggest Loser competition. I went with the P90X program while Hubby chose to walk on the treadmill. Over the 90 day period we kept track of our progress. I managed to lose ten pounds during that time. At the end of the 90 days, I switched to running. Over the next four or five months, the weight loss just didn't happen, and in frust...

This evening the informational meeting for the mini-tri took place. My friend and I attended, along with about thirty others. The ages ranged from around twenty to sixties, so I was pleased to see I wasn't the only over-40 person there. The instructor emphasized how the training was to help us complete the mini-tri, not to win our respective gender/age divisions. I was really glad to hear that as I know I'm not going to be competitive in the running part, especially since the running is the last leg of the race. I think I'll do okay with the swimming and pretty good with the biking, but the running is going to be tough. I have right at three months to train. I need to kick it into gear. The problem is everything else going on. The boys have basketball several times a week, so we're running to different schools anywhere from 40 minutes to an hour away. I'm trying to spend some time working on the book; I've made a good start and am determined to keep going. I rea...