Standing at the Trailhead of Winter

As Ado and I started off on our late afternoon walk, I thought, I am in charge of my bliss . The longer we walked, the more settled into that idea I became. I felt the same comfort that washed over me last year in mid April, when I walked the grounds of Allerton, listening to the owls calling, and I thought,  I am free.  It is in these moments that I see the path in front of me more clearly. I received a critique for my haiku. A 540-word critique on 54 words of haiku. I had to laugh when I saw that. I figured the person really didn't like my poems if the need to write ten times more for critique seemed necessary. The critique was mixed, which is fine, and some good suggestions were offered. I've decided I'm done with the haiku, though, so I won't be making any further changes. I sent a thank-you note to the person who critiqued, then moved on with my day. A wood thrush, I think. It was really sad to watch it fade away. This afternoon, Ado and I snuggled on the c...

I made a decision yesterday about this whole financial mess. If I can, I'm going to get a personal loan to pay it. I just want to be done with it. I need to be in control of the mess rather than it controlling my every waking moment. With the personal loan, yes, it won't be done as I will have a chunk from my income going to pay the loan back, but at least I will know where the situation stands at all times. And really, I've known from day one that I'll be the one having to pay. As the old saying goes, "you can't get blood from a turnip," the turnip being my husband, and since his job situation is still what it was over a year ago, logic dictates the one with the income will be the one who will have to pay. That's me. For over a year, I allowed my husband to "handle" this issue since it really was his doings that put us in the position we're in. I wanted to believe he would take care of it. His way of taking care of it has been to remai...

Though I didn't get any good news from the lawyer concerning the financial situation, I walked out feeling as if I'm moving forward. I now understand the numbers, where they're coming from, and how it all came to where it is now. My hands are still tied in beginning to pay the amount owed since my husband will not agree and is still appealing, so I can't really do anything yet. But I feel like no matter what happens, I am taking the steps needed to start down the path I want for my life. The one thing the lawyer did take interest in was the fact that one person in the relationship wants to sign the agreement while the other person in the relationship does not. He had never encountered this kind of situation before and is looking into how to proceed with the matter given this. From my perspective, I think my husband is being extremely selfish. He's not the one they'll come after. He's unemployed. He has no income. They'll come after me, the one who has ...