Standing at the Trailhead of Winter

Quiet. Just me and the boys. Overcast. Not cold. Just gray and blah. Won't be able to see the smiley face moon tonight. I made a lentil loaf but forgot to add in the breadcrumbs, so it turned out too soft and was more like a hash. Thankfully the flavor was there. It wasn't a complete loss. The mashed potatoes were yummy. Baked my favorite cookies. Gingerbread. Sat on the front porch and enjoyed coffee with gingerbread cookies. Sunny spent the entire time sniffing every inch of the porch, eating stink bugs.  Thoughts of past Christmases, when the kids were little, came and went all day. I miss having the kids here. I don't miss the frantic figuring out gifts.  I wish I had spent more time creating traditions that were ours and no one else's. I hope my kids create traditions. Went on a long walk with Sunny. He's eight months old today. Too big now to fit under the old dresser or weave through the chairs at the dining room table when playing chase through the house wit...

 

Most days, Ado goes to doggy daycare -- my husband's place -- for the afternoon. While I don't enjoy the moments my husband arrives to pick him up and drop him off, I believe Ado enjoys the time spent in the yard where he can run. And it's obvious he adores my husband, so I'm not going to get in the way. But I do miss him when he's gone. I'm so used to having him with me when I go for a walk that to walk alone feels very foreign. A large part of why I walk and what gives me pleasure when I walk is missing. Today I tried to find things to take pleasure in while walking alone. First was the tree at the bottom of Jersey Hill that someone had decorated with a few Christmas ornaments made from pine cones and red berries. A wreath had been set against the trunk, beside a plaque with the name of the person for whom the tree had been planted. Second was the sound of the water flowing over the rocks in the creek beside the path. Third was a rabbit huddled under a piece...