Getting Older, Becoming Cranky
I'm becoming that cranky older person. And I'm not going to apologize for it.
Example: stopped to get a coffee yesterday before work. Ordered a decaf. I knew the barista was going to say, "Well, it'll be a few minutes because we'll have to do a pour over," which she did. I nodded. Why these places just don't have a pot of decaf ready to go is beyond me, but whatever. So I waited. And waited. Waited some more. Once those who ordered after me had their drinks in hand and left the store, I stepped up to the counter to inquire into my drink. The barista had forgotten. So I waited. Another barista who was working another area behind the counter looked at me and asked if I was waiting on something. I said, "Yes, a decaf." Her response was a bright smile and, "Oh, yeah, that'll be a few mintues since it's a pour over." No shit. I smiled brightly right back at her and said, "It's already been a few minutes." First Young Barista looked over from where she was and told Second Young Barista, "I forgot. It's my fault." At least she had the wherewithal to admit her mistake. She even apologized and handed me a gift card for a free drink next time I stop in. That brought my crankiness down a couple notches.
Example Two: Lovely Beautiful Daughter, Angel Baby and I went to dinner at a burger joint. When we went to pay, I asked the young woman running the register to split the check. I then asked her to put Lovely Beautiful Daughter's shake on my check since I had a BOGO coupon. She messed up what I asked for three times. Once I can see. Twice . . . well . . .. Three times? Come on. Then, after ringing up my check, for which I had the BOGO coupon, which I placed on the counter, facing her, telling her I wanted to apply it to my check, she didn't do it. When I asked her to please apply the coupon, she said, "I have to get my manager to void this." At that point, I handed her the money and said, "Please, just finish." Lovely Beautiful Daughter gave me "the look" and whispered, "Don't be mean." Is it being mean if someone is just plain incompetent? Splitting a check and moving an item from one check to another is not that difficult. It really isn't.
At the start of the year, I made the decision to make my own coffee in the mornings. I also made the decision to only eat out once a month. Yesterday I stopped for coffee because I'd been given a gift card as a thank you, so I figured I'd go ahead and use it. This evening, I went to dinner because Lovely Beautiful Daughter invited me, and I wanted to spend some time catching up with her. Both instances definitely reinforce making my own coffee and meals. Messing up the meals and drinks I fix for myself is all on me, and the only person I can be cranky with is myself.
Incredibly Cranky Me appeared earlier today after looking over a critique given in response to a section of the new piece I've been working on. Let's just say this person must have a stash of red pens. There was more red, more words crossed out, and more complaints about word choice and sentence structure than I thought actually possible for a 1700 word piece. When I see a critique like this, I go through and read the green highlighted sections to see what the person is saying, which is what I did for this one. At the point where the person asked for clarification about who Ado is -- right under the sentence that says "four-legged, constant hair shedding, 100 pound . . . lanky German Shepherd" -- I stopped reading the critique. In my mind, this person isn't truly reading for comprehension. To me, this is the same person who truly doesn't listen to others during a conversation. She is too busy thinking about what she wants to say and misses more than half of what is being said. This carries over to critiquing -- she's too caught up in how she would write, what words she would use, and in the process she misses the meaning being created by the writer.
So what did Incredibly Cranky Me do? First I sent the person a thank you note. Very brief. Just "Thank you for the crit." Second, I blocked the person from being able to read/critique my work. It's not that her feedback wasn't what I wanted to hear. I've received tons of negative comments that didn't bother me. With this person, it was about the way she totally took control of a piece that didn't belong to her. I truly believe critiquing writing in a way that the writer can go in and continue to hone her voice, develop amazing images, etc. is an art. Some people are really, really good at it. Others are really, really horrible at it. This person happens to be horrible, at least for me she is.
I'm hoping tomorrow I'll not be cranky at all. I kinda doubt it, though. It seems being cranky truly is a part of getting older. Tomorrow, I'll be one day older. Most likely, I'll be a tad more cranky.
Example: stopped to get a coffee yesterday before work. Ordered a decaf. I knew the barista was going to say, "Well, it'll be a few minutes because we'll have to do a pour over," which she did. I nodded. Why these places just don't have a pot of decaf ready to go is beyond me, but whatever. So I waited. And waited. Waited some more. Once those who ordered after me had their drinks in hand and left the store, I stepped up to the counter to inquire into my drink. The barista had forgotten. So I waited. Another barista who was working another area behind the counter looked at me and asked if I was waiting on something. I said, "Yes, a decaf." Her response was a bright smile and, "Oh, yeah, that'll be a few mintues since it's a pour over." No shit. I smiled brightly right back at her and said, "It's already been a few minutes." First Young Barista looked over from where she was and told Second Young Barista, "I forgot. It's my fault." At least she had the wherewithal to admit her mistake. She even apologized and handed me a gift card for a free drink next time I stop in. That brought my crankiness down a couple notches.
Example Two: Lovely Beautiful Daughter, Angel Baby and I went to dinner at a burger joint. When we went to pay, I asked the young woman running the register to split the check. I then asked her to put Lovely Beautiful Daughter's shake on my check since I had a BOGO coupon. She messed up what I asked for three times. Once I can see. Twice . . . well . . .. Three times? Come on. Then, after ringing up my check, for which I had the BOGO coupon, which I placed on the counter, facing her, telling her I wanted to apply it to my check, she didn't do it. When I asked her to please apply the coupon, she said, "I have to get my manager to void this." At that point, I handed her the money and said, "Please, just finish." Lovely Beautiful Daughter gave me "the look" and whispered, "Don't be mean." Is it being mean if someone is just plain incompetent? Splitting a check and moving an item from one check to another is not that difficult. It really isn't.
At the start of the year, I made the decision to make my own coffee in the mornings. I also made the decision to only eat out once a month. Yesterday I stopped for coffee because I'd been given a gift card as a thank you, so I figured I'd go ahead and use it. This evening, I went to dinner because Lovely Beautiful Daughter invited me, and I wanted to spend some time catching up with her. Both instances definitely reinforce making my own coffee and meals. Messing up the meals and drinks I fix for myself is all on me, and the only person I can be cranky with is myself.
Incredibly Cranky Me appeared earlier today after looking over a critique given in response to a section of the new piece I've been working on. Let's just say this person must have a stash of red pens. There was more red, more words crossed out, and more complaints about word choice and sentence structure than I thought actually possible for a 1700 word piece. When I see a critique like this, I go through and read the green highlighted sections to see what the person is saying, which is what I did for this one. At the point where the person asked for clarification about who Ado is -- right under the sentence that says "four-legged, constant hair shedding, 100 pound . . . lanky German Shepherd" -- I stopped reading the critique. In my mind, this person isn't truly reading for comprehension. To me, this is the same person who truly doesn't listen to others during a conversation. She is too busy thinking about what she wants to say and misses more than half of what is being said. This carries over to critiquing -- she's too caught up in how she would write, what words she would use, and in the process she misses the meaning being created by the writer.
So what did Incredibly Cranky Me do? First I sent the person a thank you note. Very brief. Just "Thank you for the crit." Second, I blocked the person from being able to read/critique my work. It's not that her feedback wasn't what I wanted to hear. I've received tons of negative comments that didn't bother me. With this person, it was about the way she totally took control of a piece that didn't belong to her. I truly believe critiquing writing in a way that the writer can go in and continue to hone her voice, develop amazing images, etc. is an art. Some people are really, really good at it. Others are really, really horrible at it. This person happens to be horrible, at least for me she is.
I'm hoping tomorrow I'll not be cranky at all. I kinda doubt it, though. It seems being cranky truly is a part of getting older. Tomorrow, I'll be one day older. Most likely, I'll be a tad more cranky.
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