Letting Go

A year ago I began moving my life from one house to another. My anger was fueling me, and even now, 365 days later, I still feel some embers glowing. I wonder if I will ever wake up one morning and know the anger is completely gone. I have my doubts.

Despite the anger, the year was good. This space the kids and I have called home has been wonderful for us. But changes are happening again.

Lovely Beautiful Daughter is returning to school to pursue a degree in elementary education. She has also decided it's time she is on her own, in her own space. She won't be so far away this time and has promised to drop by to visit often.

Funny Delightful Son is transferring to Western Illinois. He and I will be driving over in a week to meet with his advisor and check out some apartments. This semester he is finishing up some Gen Eds he put off, and while he wasn't looking forward to any of his classes at the beginning of the semester, he did say not too long ago that the classes are actually all right. Well, except for Anthropology. He just can't seem to find a redeeming quality about that particular class.

And Angel Baby. Hmmmmm. In a week, this kid will be in the beginnings of an adventure. He and two friends are heading to California to walk the Pacific Crest Trail, and I'm all at once excited for him and terrified for him. This decision came about this past Tuesday. I went to work thinking he needed to get in touch with his advisor to set up his summer class schedule. Then, after lunch, I received a text from him, saying he was going to Cali to walk the trail. Getting everything he needs before he leaves has been first and foremost since.

That leaves me and Ado. We're moving, too, but not far. My landlord offered me the front unit of the duplex. It's a two bedroom, which makes much more sense for me. Even though I absolutely love this house with the windows along the one wall of the living room and the deck off the back, I simply don't need this much space for just me and Ado.

So now I'm thinking about things I need to let go of. Again. Seems like that's really what my life has been about this past year: letting go. Sometimes what I'm letting go of is easy. Other times, not so much.

Comments

Thryn said…
Wish you could just stay put. Having "room" for your soul, even if you don't need it for bodies to sleep, is not a guilty pleasure, but space to create, but if finances dictate, then I'm glad, at least, that can stay in a space close and uncomplicated. Life is changing so, isn't it? It's so hard to change. But you're doing it beautifully, even if it feels messy just now. I can confirm it! :)
April 17, 2018 at 9:24 AM
JK said…
It is incredibly hard facing change. I don't feel like I'm doing it beautifully -- Angel Baby caught me crying the other night. He said, "It's okay. If you need to cry, that's what you do." I'm going to miss those three so much.
April 17, 2018 at 6:21 PM
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