America, What Are You Doing?

This semester I'm fully online again. I'm happy to be. I've become even more of a homebody than I was before going completely online. I thought after being online during COVID that I would never want to be again, but I've truly come to love it. My hope is I can finish out my time and move into retirement by just teaching online. 

Being home all the time allows me time to listen to the house. To really see the parts that make up the whole. 

***

I wrote the above a week ago, fully intending to write about my house, the dogs, being able to move through my days in a way that brings me peace and joy. I was going to finish the post during the week, but like usual, I got sidetracked and the post was forgotten about.

Then yesterday, January 24, happened. 

Anyone paying attention knows a man who was trying to help a woman who'd been shoved to the ground in Minneapolis was murdered. After he was surrounded by thugs and pepper sprayed, wrestled to the ground, beaten, kicked, and pistol whipped. He was shot ten times. 

I was in a training when the alert showed on my phone that another individual had been shot in Minneapolis. I didn't read the story then. I waited until I was about ready to walk into a get together with some friends after the training. I felt sick to my stomach. The get together couldn't end fast enough.

Now, twenty-four hours later, I've read too much. I've cried. I've gotten angry at my dogs. I haven't cleaned my house. I had to work really hard to not yell at my son who says I get too emotional about these kinds of things. 

Too emotional.

The man was 37, just a few years older than Lovely, Beautiful Daughter. He was a VA nurse. He dedicated his life to serving others. His last act was to help a woman who had been shoved to the ground by a thug.

Yes, I'm emotional. 

And now I'm trying to figure out how to channel all of this emotion.

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