Standing at the Trailhead of Winter

An important lesson I've learned about grocery shopping -- I spend nearly five times more money on food when I have a car to carry my groceries home for me. Seriously. Five times! Panniers can only carry so much, so I have to be very careful about what I buy. And since I don't want to have to make more than two or three trips to the store during the week, I plan out my meals and buy just the items to prepare what I've planned. A car makes it possible to buy much more. A ridiculous amount that sets me up for spending way more than I want,. A lot of the food then sits in the fridge or on the counter and spoils. And all my meal planning flies right out the window.  So, while it was nice of Lovely Beautiful Daughter to loan me her car for a few hours, I think I'll stick with using the bike and panniers for grocery shopping. I about fainted when I saw the total for my groceries (and granted $40 of the total went to the new 3 quart pot I had to buy since I bur...

Years ago I read Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg. I love that book and have gone back to it again and again. Now, I'm reading her book The True Secret of Writing . It is quickly becoming that book. You know the one -- rereading paragraphs and sentences, dog-earing pages to be able to return to an idea that for whatever reason keeps whispering at you. A book that asks you to not hurry. Slow down. Enjoy. Late last evening, as I readied to call it a day, I thought I'm going to take Nat's advice. I'm going to put serious thought into a couple of areas of my life, areas that I refer to as practice . My writing practice. My yoga practice. My meditation practice. My be nice to myself practice (which really needs attention -- but that's for another blog post another time, like maybe in a year's time). I so appreciate how Goldberg suggests practice isn't about advancing a goal. It's not determining an end point, an achievement. Practice is simply ...

Last year at this time I was cycling the Pac coast. Had just enjoyed two days in San Francisco. Was headed into the last ten days or so that would complete the rest of the ride. The final morning I'd awakened early, before sunrise, and when I looked outside my tent, the full moon was setting over the Pacific. A golden path leading from the beach to the horizon undulated on the surface of the ocean. I was mesmerized. This morning, Ado and I left out earlier than usual for our morning walk. We went the short route which takes us around a few blocks then back to the large open grassy area known as Jersey Hill. When I looked towards the west, a beautiful almost-full yellow moon hung just over the tree tops. I feel so fortunate to have memories of the moon over the Pacific and the moon over the prairie. I view the memories as reminders to look around, really notice the small things I sometimes overlook since I've seen them many times before; enjoy the delight sparked by what...

A year. That's how much time has passed since the last time I sat in my hammock swing. At odd moments during the past year, I'd think about my swing and wish I had it. But I had no place to hang it. I finally bought a stand, and now, my swing is on my deck. When I settled into it late yesterday afternoon, I felt like a kid with the best gift ever. Just sitting and swaying, losing track of time. I read my book. I watched the Carolina wrens. The babies had left the nest about two weeks ago, but the whole family shows up each evening and hunts for dinner in the side yard. Mostly I just sat, eyes closed, and listened to the cicadas.  The air smells different now. During spring and summer the vegetation gives off a vibrant odor. Now, hints of autumn waft on the breeze. I think of the color brown when whiffs of falling leaves and annuals reaching the end of their life drift on the air. A chipmunk joined me on the deck for a few minutes. Its cheeks appeared packed full, bu...

After reaching the transit station today on my way home, I looked at the app that tells me where my connection is and how long I'll have to wait. I had a good 45 minute wait, so I decided to walk home since I'd be home long before the bus arrived. The weather had cleared, and a nice, cool breeze was blowing out of the northwest. My only worry was getting blisters from my sandals, but I figured a small blister on my pinky toe was worth enjoying the lovely late afternoon. I'd only been walking about five minutes when I felt a presence come up behind. A flash of color came into view on my left, and a cheery voice said, "I thought that was you. The bag looked like your bag, and the walk looked like your walk." Lovely Beautiful Daughter smiled at me as we waited to cross the street. She is now taking the bus to get to campus, and like me, she didn't want to wait for the bus home, so we walked together back to my place where she'd left her car this morning...

So I totally didn't do any prep work to get ready for the fall semester before reporting back to work last week. I was like Ado when I take him out for a walk on a hot day -- dragging my feet and really just not wanting to do it. And last week, I did just enough to be ready for my first class, which is tomorrow morning. I have complete awareness of my lack of preparedness, and I'm okay with it. I've been doing this for just over 25 years. I should know what I'm doing at this point. If not, I need to hand in my office keys and call my career done. Stick a fork in it. Whatever happens tomorrow -- well -- it happens. There's not much more to say. I did take a big step recently concerning my husband. I blocked him on my phone. No more texts. No more calls. I also told him he needs to stop dropping by and just walking in. This is not his home. Needless to say, he's behaving like I never said anything, He's still dropping by and just walking in. He uses Ado as...

Just ten days left of my summer. Ten. Sad face. Tears sliding down my cheeks face. Actually, I'm okay with the summer coming to a close. The two months of working from home were glorious, but it'll be good to get back on campus. The bummer part about going into this fall semester is one of my good friends leaving. He was offered a beautiful deal with a two-year college in Michigan, one he couldn't pass up. It'll definitely be strange without him across the hall from me (though there is whispering of turning his office into a gaming room, complete with mini fridge and microwave). His leaving opened up the opportunity for me to step back into teaching the Honors seminar course. That along with teaching English 102 in hybrid format and coordinating the writing center will be my load. I'm looking forward to all of it, especially the hybrid classes. I've been waiting and waiting for the hybrid classes to get the green light, and they finally did. For the ne...