Loss

My bees are dead. What I have feared since last fall happened.

I don't even know where to start. And, really, I can barely see the monitor because of the tears that keep blurring my eyes. I know they're "just" bees to a lot of people, but to me, they are creatures that play a very important role in the cycle of life.

I was supposed to help them. I was a "beekeeper," but I feel like I totally failed them.

My heart is broken right now.
One group of the mass of bees I found dead in the hive. 









Comments

Cathy said…
So sorry to hear this! It is definitely a loss.

But try not to beat yourself up too much--it was a really hard winter, and even veteran beekeepers worry over keeping their bees alive in the winter.

You did your best. And I bet you'll do even better next time.
March 8, 2015 at 4:44 PM
JK said…
I just keep thinking back to January, when we had a couple of warmer days and I fed the bees. They looked good and had what looked like plenty of honey stores. I really thought since they looked good then they were going to make it. The shock at seeing all of them dead today hit hard.
March 8, 2015 at 8:30 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Marriage: A Meeting in the Middle?

Monday marked the 9th wedding anniversary for Hubby and me. We went to a nicer restaurant in town to have dinner and celebrate. Unfortunately, what should have been a lovely dinner spiraled downward, each of us unhappy with the other by the time we left the restaurant. One comment Hubby made stayed with me the next few days, and Friday, on our way home from taking Lovely Beautiful Daughter and her boyfriend to the airport (another unfortunate event--they were flying to Boston after learning of the unexpected death of her boyfriend's father), Hubby and I talked further about his comment to me at our anniversary dinner. I told him I was considering writing about it here, and he replied that he would love to see what comments I receive regarding this subject. So, here goes. My perspective of a marriage is it is a partnership. Each member of the relationship helps the other out simply because, to me, that's what a partnership entails. Including housework. Yeah. This is why our di...
Read more

Taking My Health Into My Own Hands (Cuz My Doc Certainly Isn't All That Helpful)

After a month of tracking my glucose levels, I've learned a few things, the most important being I need to have something sweet in the evenings. An orange. A fruit smoothie. A vegan chocolate chip cookie. When I don't, my glucose dips with each consecutive morning after not having something sweet, the monitor showing my glucose going lower and lower. While I never went below 79, I was inching lower each morning after not having something sweet the evening before. So now, I make sure I have fruit or a smoothie with dinner. Every now and then I'll have an orange juice mid-day just because. While I don't think a month is long enough to really know if my glucose levels were the culprit for the tachycardia, I have felt so much better. The weird feeling I'd been experiencing when the tachycardia was happening has not happened. The waves of heat that would wash over me, causing me to peel off my sweatshirt or sweater even though my house is at 65 degrees haven't happen...
Read more

Searching for Some Truth

A friend mentioned in a comment that he read David Perlmutter's Grain Brain , and is especially interested in the studies that "show a strong relationship between high blood sugar, insulin resistance, and cognitive / neurological problems." I, too, am very interested in all of these ideas, so I decided to check out Grain Brain . Just a few pages into the book, I was thinking, "My gosh. This is some scary shit." Part of me wanted to think Perlmutter is fear-mongering and working for some big business of some kind, and that eventually I was going to get to the chapter where Perlmutter was going to try and sell me something. Granted, I'm not that far into the book yet, so I haven't come across the selling chapter if there is one, but what I've read so far has been extremely interesting, making me want to continue reading. A month or so ago, I read Real Food: What to Eat and Why by Nina Planck, and one chapter in her book that really got me thinking ...
Read more